Fathers Criticism Kills Children’s Resilience
A recent article on SCMP.com gives divorcees advice on increasing there child’s self esteem.
Arguing, shouting divorcees can have an effect on a child’s self esteem. Children are resilient to a degree, but long term negative behaviour can have a real affect.
If you are recently divorced and your split is causing rows in front of children, there are techniques you can put in place so this negative behaviour doesn’t affect your child long term. You might not be able to change your ex’s behaviour, but you can change yours, and ask your ex-partner to do the best for your child. As you two might not be in love with each other but you both love your child, and they love you to.
Start by calling your ex “your child’s father” this change of frame has a more positive slant. Together come up with some rules, such as only using positive phrases in front of your child. In certain situations your child may benefit from you asking them “how do you feel about X?” If your ex-partner said something negative to your child, wait until your home and then send a well worded e-mail explaining how your child got upset by what they said.
This way your partner has time to reflect. Often a telephone call for the same reason can end in a further argument because the partner will often feel embarrassed.
Read more on ex-partners and their children’s self esteem here: Facing Fathers Criticism
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Chris Delaney 