Free Life Coaching Techniques From Manchester Based Life Coaches

WE have put together a few coaching techniques for people looking to coach themselves and for life coach as an extra set of coaching tools to use with your clients. Many of the techniques below only take around 5-15 minutes to complete, we recommend using one technique per day. Once you have tried all the life coaching techniques can then choice which techniques you want to use on a regular basis.

Learning Styles

People learn in very different ways, if you understand how you learn best you can help accelerate your learning.

I will ask you three questions each with three answers, you will find that two or may all three answers may suit you but I want you to pick the answer which is your main preference.

When I need directions to somewhere I usually:

Look at a map

Ask for directions

Follow my nose and maybe use a compass

When I’m cooking a new dish, I would:

Follow a written recipe

Call a friend for an explanation

Give it a go, testing as I cook

If I am teaching someone something new, I will:

Write down instructions

Give them a verbal explanation

Show them first and then let them have a go

If you picked mainly 1’s you are Visual

If you picked mainly 2’s you are Auditory

If you picked mainly 3’s you are Kinesthetic

Audio – Study Tips

Explain the topic you are trying to learn to a friend

Read explanations and important facts out loud

Make up songs (Daft and crazy songs work best) to the study topic

Record and listen to lectures and sessions

When learning new information, discuss the topic and answers out loud

Say words in syllables.

Make up and repeat rhymes to remember information

Join a study groups/book clubs

Write sequences out in sentence form and then read them out loud.

Use audio CDs etc

Kinesthetic – Study Tips

Hold the book in your hand while reading rather the on a table

Write notes while you are reading or talking

Sit near the front of the classroom to keep focused

Use a computer to reinforce learning by using the sense of touch

Write lists repeatedly

Use practical experience when possible

Stand up when giving explanations

Use rhythm and beats to memorize or explain information

Use gestures when giving explanations

Make models

Make and use flashcards (keep them in order)

Use role-playing

Associate feelings with information

Visual – Study Tips

Take notes while listening to lectures and sessions

Use colour-coded highlighting

Create charts and diagrams that demonstrate key points

View any photographs or diagrams in your textbook

Use visual metaphors to associate information

Write explanations down

Make and use flashcards

Use illustrations

Use visual analogies to associate information

Watch videos/programmes specific to the course you are studying

Use guided imagery

Who do You Rely On?

Draw a set of concentric circles to represent how close the relationship of each person is to our friend.

The inner circle are people intimately close to our friend.

Next would be those people who know our friend well and are considered his/her friends.

The next circle are people who know the our friend but are more like acquaintances.

Finally, the last circle are people our friend knows and interacts with, but merely on a level of exchange.

Think about each ring, and ask yourself do you want someone to move in or out of that particular circle?

How much effect does each of these people have on your life

Are these people a positive aspect to your life?

Hope’s and Fears

We all have hopes and fears, for many though they let there fears have all the power.

Record your hopes and fears

HOPEs

Fears

Which box is more in control of your life?

What will help you reduce the fears? What do you need to know or learn?

Who can support you?

If you had no hears would you achieve your hopes

Easy Goals

The reason many people never achieve their goals or even stick to New Year resolutions is because they don’t plan the steps they need to take. Once you start to achieve the small the steps you become more motivated.

Record your goal

Next record the last action/step you need to take to achieve this. As an example if your goal is to delivery completing speeches, your last step may be increase confidence or writing interesting scripts.

And then, record what you need to do first to achieve that step. Continue this working backwards until, you get to the point where you are now. Where you have to take the initial action.

Last Step
Previous Step
Inititial Step

Can The Future You, Help You?

People who achieve their goals have more then just their desired outcome, they have found new personal skills and strengths. They have experiences that they can use to overcome future problems and to motivate themselves.

I want you to imagine that you have achieved your goal. Imagine you are that successful version of yourself now. What can you see, hear and feel – really associate yourself.

Now in your mind visualise the steps you took to get there, including the point where you are now, making that initial decision.

Go back to the future you and think about your feelings, imagine how confident you feel now that you have achieved your goal. Feel how motivated you are, how inspired you are to achieve more. Think about all the positive feelings you have now.

Take these feelings and put them into the first step (the image you created for the first step) and then the second, third until you find yourself at the image that represents the successful you.

You now feel even more successful and motivated, use these new feelings to start the process again.

Chalk Board

First I want you to relax, imagine you are on a quite beach, you hear the soothing sounds of the waves, you can feel the grains of sand beneath your feel, you taste the salty sea air, and all of this just helps you to relax.

Now let your emotions come up .emotions from the past and emotions from the present. Give permission for all fo these emotions to rise to the surface.

Imagine in front of you a chalkboard, as the emotions rise up they are written on the board all of the emotions.

Rub out, erase the emotions you don’t want, the emotions you want to let go off.

Replace these emotions with new positive emotions. Emotions you want top feel. Get a piece of chalk and write down in big bold letters how you want to feel.

Money, Money, Money

You have said that having a lack of money is stressful. Today we will look at where your money goes, and how important this is.

Write a list of everything you spend your money on, from the smallest bill to the largest within one month (check how often they pay their bills quarterly, monthly etc)

Activity	Cost
electric	£80
food	£190
Car wash	£22

Are you surprised about how much you spend on anyone item (often clients are surprised how much they spend on coffee)

Is there anything on the list that you are happy not buy or to buy less off. Add these items up to give on overall savings.

Is there anything you can do different to save on cost (IE a two car family may sell one car)

Techniques to improve self-esteem

10-minute technique

People with poor self-esteem often fail to give themselves enough time and space. So find 10 minutes every day to be alone, and to just sit and do nothing.

Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a country scene or the sight and sound of waves gently lapping against the shore.

During this 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel peaceful and happy. Enjoy this time. It is yours – and yours alone.

Accentuate the positive

Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes we have made. But we can improve our self-esteem if we re-think the things we believe we have done wrong or badly.

For example, one of my clients has to give presentations at work. He used to mentally beat himself up after every one and stew over tiny errors.

Now he writes an account of each presentation shortly after he’s given it. He writes about all the things that went well.

He doesn’t need to write about the bad things – they will stick in his memory and he will try hard not to repeat them – but he will forget the good things unless he writes them down.

So when you have a bad day, or something goes wrong in your relationship or at work, write an account of what went right with that episode, not what went wrong.

The results will surprise you – and improve how you see yourself.

List 50 things you like about yourself

If you’re seriously lacking in self-esteem this could take weeks, but persevere.

You can write down your characteristics.

You can include things about your looks.

You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy a copy of The Big Issue on a day when you’re short of money, or you may help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you’re rushing to get your own shopping done.

When you have reached your 50 good things, keep the list somewhere you can see it all the time.

Next comes the harder part. Try to record one more new thing you like about yourself every day for the rest of your life.

Getting and giving criticism

One of the areas that people with low self-esteem have greatest difficulty with is criticism – giving as well as receiving it. Both can be extraordinarily difficult.

Some individuals are demolished by criticism, but it’s something we can’t avoid.

Criticism is often unfair – and when it is, we need to counter it by calmly putting our own case across. But some criticism is justified, and when we’re sensible we can learn from it.

How to deal with criticism

Often when we’re criticised, we’re so hurt that we start excusing ourselves and rebutting what’s being said without really listening to it.

This doesn’t help us. So here are some hints and tips about dealing with criticism.

Listen to criticism without interrupting.

If there are aspects to the criticism that are valid, begin by agreeing with those points.

If parts are unclear, ask for clarification.

If you realise you were wrong, say so and apologise.

If criticism is wrong or unfair, smile and say: ‘I’m afraid I don’t agree with you’.

It takes a lot of practice to feel and act this way.

How to give criticism

People with poor-self esteem find it just as hard to dish out criticism as they do to receive it. In fact, many such individuals avoid promotion because they can’t face the prospect of being in authority and having to criticise others.

So how can you learn to criticise when you have to?

Keep calm.

Make your criticism at an appropriate time. Don’t wait until you’re so fed up that , you’re furious. If you do, – you’re bound to make a mess of it.

Take some deep breaths, then try a technique called the ‘criticism sandwich’. This means you say something nice, then insert the criticism, then end with another comment.

Make sure you only criticise the behaviour, not the person.

An example would be: ‘Your work is usually great, but it’s not quite right today. So, I’ll have to ask you to re-do that report. However, I know it’s really unlike you to get things wrong, so I’m sure that tomorrow will be better’.

How to say ‘no’

These tips are just as handy when it comes to standing up for yourself. They’re useful when you want to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty. Just keep calm and use the word ‘I’.

Say: ‘I won’t be coming to that party with you.’ Or: ‘I’m afraid I can’t make it to tea on Saturday because I need to go shopping.’ Or: ‘I’m sorry, I can’t work late tonight, but if you need me to, I can stay tomorrow.’

People with poor self-esteem are always getting talked into doing things they don’t want to do. It must stop if you want to value yourself more.

Perceptual Positions

Think about a recent event that you feel could have gone better, an event that you wish you could have communicated differently or an event that left you feeling confused on how you can improve the situation.

1. Consider the event from your own perspective

Return to this event fully in your mind and run mental movie of this situation as it occurred on the day. Re-experience this situation as fully as possible, (becoming totally associated with the emotions you had at the time of the interview) from your own eyes. What can you see? Notice the other people you are talking to, hear what they said to you. See the expression on their face, notice their body language. Become aware of how you feel. Speak to the person (out loud or in your head) and use the same language as you originally did.　Really relive this experience as you did at the time of the event. At the end of this episode, rewind this movie and pause the movie at the beginning of this conflict situation.

Break your State by shaking your arms and legs!

2. The Second Position

Now that your movie is ‘paused’ at the beginning, look over at the person talking to you. Notice how they are breathing, notice their posture, facial expressions, the way they move. Now consider what their tone of voice is like, do they speak fast or slow, loud or quiet? How to they walk, talk, sit, laugh and relax? What are　some of　the things you know about this　persons; what are their　likes and dislikes?

Now imagine floating out of your own body and into the body of the other person. Imagine you are inside their skin. Become aware of how this person experiences life. Take on their posture, gestures and their tone of voice.

Set aside your own beliefs and values and replay the event from their chair and viewpoint. Pay attention to the thoughts of this person, their self talk and to any insights that surface as you observe the you, in front of you.

Use this persons language to describe what you experience (refer to yourself as you) ask the you the same questions asked at the time, look at how they respond and how they communicate to you, what have you learnt from this viewpoint, what else can you learn from this experience of the event, how did (you) come across?

After the scene ends float back into your own body taking with you this new learning and insights.

Break state again by shaking or taking 3 deep breaths.

3. The Observer

Return to the event and　from your own point of view, before you play out the event for a third time, float out of your body and move to a detached place, where you can observe both you and the other person. Once again re-play the situation as if you were watching and listening to a film or live show. Be curious about what unfolds before you and notice the learning you gain from this third　perspective. Listen to the conversation and notice the body language of both　people and how you both respond to each others communications.

After the scene ends, float back into your body bringing with you all the insights and learning from the three perceptual positions. Pay attention to the difference in your experience. Take all the time you need to fully return to yourself before opening your eyes.

Repeat this as many times as you feel is necessary and always end　in the　first position of you.

SMART Goals

I want you to write some SMART goals, this technique will help you detail your goal checking how realistic the goal is for you.

Specific

Specific objectives are clear and well-defined. This helps both the performer and the manager, as the performer knows what is expected of them and the manager is able to monitor and assess actual performance against the specific objectives.

Specific objectives may well include a scope description, which includes details of what is not included.

Measurable

Progress towards objectives often need to be to be monitored whilst work is under way. It is also very useful to know when that work has been done and the objectives are completed. A measurable objective achieves this end.

Achievable

When giving objectives, the person may not be able to achieve it for various reasons, including a lack of skill, not having enough resources (computers, tools, etc.), not having access to key people and not having management support. Achievable objectives ensure that everything is in place and that if the person does not reach the goals they cannot reasonably point the finger elsewhere.

Realistic

Objectives should also add useful value within the context where they are being set, being aligned with strategies and higher goals.

Timed

Descriptions of objectives should also include timescales of what is required by when. This may also include details of delivery, stating (if relevant) where objectives are to be completed.

Giving a time scale adds appropriate sense of urgency and ensures that the objectives do not dribble out over an unreasonably long timescale.

The Stress Scale

Recorded stressful situations and scale them on a scale between 1-10, with one representing no stress and ten representing stress at its worse

Situation________________________ ______________1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Recorded situations where you remain calm and scale them on a scale between 1-10, with one representing stress and 10 representing complete calm

Situation________________________ ______________1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

You now have a clearer understanding of what helps you relax and what makes you stressed.

The Swish Technique

The Swish technique enables us to quickly dissolve the feelings attached to unwanted thoughts and to deal with un-useful responses (reprogramming the brain to work in a different way)

In the Swish we replace the unwanted thought or response with a more useful and appropriate one because the swish gives new instructions to the brain.

Think of a behaviour or response you’d rather not have (this may be an unwanted habit)

Identify a Cue image for this situation that triggers the response.

What is it that you respond to? How you know when to have the unwanted response or reaction?

Ask yourself what occurs just before this negative or un-wanted　state begins?　– Often this will be a large bright picture.

Now think how you would be if you didn’t have this problem, if you were the kind of person who felt this was not an issue. Ask How do I want to be instead.

Imagine this new you, a resourceful and confident person. A new you who is free from the negative response, you don’t have to know how you got that way, just enjoy this new positive feeling.

Enhance the detail and the quality (submodalities) of this until the image is quite compelling; make it brighter, louder, faster etc

Put a frame in front of you and put your original CUE image in it. In the corner of this frame place the resourceful image, shrink it so it ends up around the size of a postal stamp (it will now be small and dark)

Now you want t make both images change simultaneously, so the large cue images becomes small and dark, and the resourceful image becomes big and bright. Say Swish as you do this.

Repeat the swish around 10 times, between each swish make the frame go blank. Each time you swish, speed it up until you are swishing within a second.

Test to see if you can restore the Cue picture, if you find it either wont come back or the image is dark and dim, then the swish ahs worked. If not start again (you may need to check which submodalities are prominent in your cue picture and ensure these are added to your resourceful you image)

Bucket List

A bucket list is a list of activities you want to do, goals you want to achieve and places you want to visit before you kick the bucket.

Write your bucket list now.

To visit New York

Parachute jump

Record a song

What is stopping you doing some of these things now?

What can you do to overcome that barrier?

Which activity will you do first?

What do you need to do to make it happen?

Intelligent Robot

I want you to imagine you’re a scientist who has received a million dollar grant to create an intelligent robot. The government who has funded this project want the robot to be lifelike.

First you have to give the robot 5 positive personality traits, as the robot has to be liked by the public. What do you think are the 5 most important traits a person requires?

As the robot is intelligent, the robot has to learn these traits as we humans have to. What activities would you get the robot to do to improve their personality traits?

Would the robots traits improve if they undertook your suggestions?

How?

What would you say to the robot when, as we all do, it makes a mistake?

What would be the outcome for the robot, when the robot gains these key traits?

To Much To Do About Nothing

Stress often comes when we overwhelm ourselves, if we can handle or task and goals we can accomplish them in a positive state of mind.

Write a list of all your goals, task and daily duties.

Rate each one between 1-5 (5 representing importance)

What would happen in you stopped doing all the task that were rated 1 and 2?

Would you have more time to achieve your more important goals?

Would you feel less stressed and be able to manage your time better?

Sometimes we overwhelm ourselves, are goals can in some instances stress us out rather then making us happy. Every so often you need to assess yourself and let go of the stuff we no longer need.

The Job Interview

The job interview is great. It’s is one of the few times when we get to talk about yourself for 45 minutes. Not only that, you are only allowed to talk about the positives in our lives, our strengths, key skills and achievements.

Imagine your at an interview, I will ask you several questions and you have to answer them positively – selling yourself to me.

Tell me a little about yourself

What is your key strength

What is your biggest achievement to date

What do you want to achieve out of life

How do you overcome set backs?

When was the last time you surprised yourself?

What can you offer in terms of skills and persaonlity to our team?

Why should we employ you?

Transferable Skills

We tend to act differently in the different environments of our life. In work you may be more organised then you are at home. You may be more creative when you have your parent hat on compared to when you wear your business hat.

Think about a task you want to complete, maybe a task that you are procrastinating on.

Think about the different environments of your life, which ‘hat’ would best help you? As an example if your work hat best suits you, imagine that this task is now a work task. If a creative hat (maybe from being a parent) would best support you, imagine this is a parent task.

Complete the task wearing this hat using the resources you have available

Finding Patterns

So, others have told you that you need help. They said that you do X to much. “to much” is a general term, to much for one person might be to little for another. It’s not about if X is to much or to little is about knowing the pattern when you do X.

Write down all the habits that you feel have a slight negative slant to them (smoking, drinking, drugs, swearing, etc) and record how many times you do these a day

Habbit	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat	Sun
Smoking	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y	Y
Drinking				Y	Y	Y
Swearing	Y			Y

When do you X in the morning, afternoon, evening?

Is there a trigger for this, such as stress or is this just a routine?

Did you realise you did X as much as you do?

Do you want to do X more, or less?

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