The Clients Perception, Change It.
Phobias, a lack of confidence, no self worth, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, overweight, abuse, negative self talk, limiting beliefs are some of the reasons people come for therapy.
It is often the case that clients have “put up” with their personal issue for a number of years. Their perception of their issue being one that they can “put up” with X, changes to one of “overbearing” – I need to get rid of X. It is this change in their perception that brings client to therapy.
Therapy is often seen as a last ditch effort from the client and many clients wont truly believe that therapy will help them. Many hypnotherapist will use arm elevation to change the clients perception from one of “this wont work on me” to “my arm is rising without me moving it, I must be hypnotised, if the therapist can do this to me, they will easily be able to cure me”
To produce fast therapy, we need the client to change their perceptions, just as the clients own perception of their personal issue changed from one of “annoyance” to a perception of “I can no longer deal with this.”
Internal perceptions can be changed to, the overeater instead of seeing a tasty bag of chips and a delicious burger, will see greasy food, her weight increasing and a potential hart attack. The client’s frame of focus can change to; seeing the whole burger, part of the burger or the burger on a counter in a takeaway. The clients frame of focus changes their emotional response. And which part they focus on changes their motivation to, in this case the eating or not eating of the burger.
Two friends went with me last time I brought of beef burger, one focused on the grease, the fat, the cooking oil smell and the smell of burnt onions. She could see the paper napkin below the burger changing colour and texture as the grease dripping from the burger bun, soaked into the napkin. She ordered the salad. The other, a big meat eater, focused on the thick meaty burger, he could smell the tender meat, hear the sizzling in the pan, see the cheese dripping slowly of the burger, the bun and salad looked fresh, within seconds he had ordered two of them.
As the clients perception change their map of their world expands and changes to. The therapist has to take on their clients map to support them, by understanding how the client sees the world, and to communicate this back to them using “clean language” and by presenting choice.
Second guessing the client’s thoughts can break rapport, instead the therapist needs to step into the client and see the world from their eyes, using solution focus questions to allow the client to find their own solutions and options.
Therapist can facilitate change through metaphors, reframing and offering comparisons, allowing the client to try on a new perspective. To increase motivation the therapist may ask clients to focus on the future, a future version of them when they haven’t changed, allowing the clients perception of their future self to motivate them. And then compare that, to them when they have changed, which creates or at least starts a belief that they can change, because they just visualised it.
Many clients focus on the negatives of the situation, or a past situations. By looking at the positive perception of this situation, can create an extended map, a new perception to work from. The weight loss client may complain “I’ve always eat, I’ve eaten everything that was put in front of me, I can’t stop” a therapist friend replied with “good, because I don’t want you to stop eating, I want you think about everything that was put in front of you that you ate and pick only the dishes you liked” The therapist is telling the client that she liked creates the presumption that she disliked certain foods, this is a different map to “I eat everything that is put in front of me”
Clients will often generalise their life “no-one likes me” which creates a limiting map, when challenged the clients map can change “….well, obviously my mum likes me, and my friends, but my friends have all known me from being young.” Therapist “so, what you’re saying is people who get to know you like you?”
Creating an extended map, new choices and a new perception to look at old situations, can rapidly increase change in the client allowing them to move forward quicker then expected.
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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