Manchester Life Coach Shares Coaching Techniques
I wanted to share several of my favorite life coaching techniques with you. Let me know is the technique helped you or your client, and if you have any questions regarding the techniques, or any variations and improvement let me know via the comments box below.
These 3 techniques have been taken form the 101 Life Coaching Techniques e-book
Goal Setting
This technique will help your clients achieve their goal, by breaking down their goal into realistic chunks. Also, by looking at the outcome of your goal and the resources you can access, your client will start to think about a future time when the outcome has been achieved and how this will make them feel and the changes this goal will bring.
Explain to the Client
Today we are going to look at your goals. To help you quickly achieve your goals we will break your goal down into smaller sections to help you move forward. First – state your goal out loud
Did you use an “away from” goal or a “towards” goal? The carrot and the stick
EXPLAIN:
An away from goal is a goal worded to get away from pain (stick)
- “I want to get out of a destructive relationship”
- “I don’t want to have no money anymore”
- “I wish I wasn’t nervous at job interviews”
Towards goals are worded towards pleasure (carrot)
- “I want to find a positive relationship”
- “I want to be a millionaire”
- “I want to be confident during job interviews”
What is your goal “away from” or “towards”? For this exercise re-word your goal as a “towards” goal: by framing your goal in a positive term allows your mind to be free of distractions.
Record Your Positive Goal _______________________________________
Client Exercise
Ask the client to think about their ‘towards’ goal and ask the client the following questions, explaining each heading in turn:
Take Charge of Your Goal
Think about your positive goal and ask yourself these questions and record your answers.
- How will you start your goal?
- How will you maintain it (the activity)?
- If anything, how might you stop the good work?
- What could you do instead to continue making good progress?
Be Specific
Your goal is the overview, now let’s get specific. The smaller the details and information, the more achievable and real your goal becomes. As a motivational tool having smaller chunks of your goal recorded, makes it easier for you to move forward, by seeing yourself achieving each step along the way.
- Where will you be when you start your goal?
- When will you start working towards your goal?
- How will you know you are moving forward?
- What specifically will you be doing?
- If you were doing this now, where are you? What can you see? What do you say to yourself? How do you keep going? How do you feel right now?
- What would others say when they can see you achieving your goal? What will others see you doing?
Collect Evidence
What is the outcome to achieving your goal? What will be different when you achieve your goal? How will your life change?
- How will you know that the goal has been achieved?
- What will be different? What will you see, hear and think when you have achieved your goal? How do you feel?
- How will you know that your goal has lead to your desired outcome?
- In what area of your life do you want to achieve your outcome? To be more confident…at work or in social situations?
Resources
Once you have a goal and desired outcome that you are motivated to achieve, you may want to use some additional resources. If your goal was to run the London marathon your resources would be a good pair of running shoes and a positive mental attitude. You may also have a family member who will help you train and prepare – these are all resources that you can tap into.
- What resources do you have available that will help you to reach your goal?
- Who do you know that may be able to help, support and encourage you?
- What books, information, state of mind may help you achieve your outcome?
- Who do you know that has achieved the same outcome? What advice can they give you?
Achievable Outcomes
Is your outcome achievable, this does not mean the outcome should be easy to achieve as you always appreciate achieving something that has been an initial struggle, don’t you?
- Does the outcome seem realistic and achievable?
- Does it represent enough of a challenge to keep you interested without it being so big that it feels overwhelming?
- Does the outcome look, sound, feel exciting enough to keep you motivated?
A Little Extra
- What would be the consequence in your life and relationships if you got your outcome?
- How do you feel when you have achieved your outcome?
- Who else would the outcome effect?
The Big List
Explain to the Client
People with low self-esteem always concentrate on their negatives and are often unaware of their positives.
Client Exercise
I want you to write 50 good things about yourself. If you’re seriously lacking in self-esteem this could take weeks, but persevere.
- You can write down your characteristics.
- You can include things about your looks.
- You can even write about the things you do. For example, you may buy a copy of The Big Issue on a day when you’re short of money, or you may help an elderly woman in the supermarket when you’re rushing to get your own shopping done.
When you have reached your 50 good things, keep the list somewhere you can see it all the time.
Next comes the harder part. Try to record one more new thing you like about yourself every day for the rest of your life.
Perceptual Positions
Explain to the Client
People at the same event have different feelings about it. This is because people look at the same event differently, from different perceptions.
Client Exercise
Think about a recent event that you feel could have gone better, an event that you wish you could have communicated differently or an event that left you feeling confused on how you can improve the situation.
- Consider the event from your own perspective
Return to this event fully in your mind and run mental movie of this situation as it occurred on the day. Re-experience this situation as fully as possible, (becoming totally associated with the emotions you had at the time of the interview) from your own eyes. What can you see? Notice the other people you are talking to, hear what they said to you. See the expression on their face, notice their body language. Become aware of how you feel. Speak to the person (out loud or in your head) and use the same language as you originally did. Really relive this experience as you did at the time of the event. At the end of this episode, rewind this movie and pause the movie at the beginning of this conflict situation.
Break your State by shaking your arms and legs!
2. The Second Position
Now that your movie is ‘paused’ at the beginning, look over at the person talking to you. Notice how they are breathing, notice their posture, facial expressions, the way they move. Now consider what their tone of voice is like, do they speak fast or slow, loud or quiet? How to they walk, talk, sit, laugh and relax? What are some of the things you know about this persons; what are their likes and dislikes?
Now imagine floating out of your own body and into the body of the other person. Imagine you are inside their skin. Become aware of how this person experiences life. Take on their posture, gestures and their tone of voice.
Set aside your own beliefs and values and replay the event from their chair and viewpoint. Pay attention to the thoughts of this person, their self talk and to any insights that surface as you observe the you, in front of you.
Use this persons language to describe what you experience (refer to yourself as you) ask the you the same questions asked at the time, look at how they respond and how they communicate to you, what have you learnt from this viewpoint, what else can you learn from this experience of the event, how did (you) come across?
After the scene ends float back into your own body taking with you this new learning and insights.
Break state again by shaking or taking 3 deep breaths.
3. The Observer
Return to the event and from your own point of view, before you play out the event for a third time, float out of your body and move to a detached place, where you can observe both you and the other person. Once again re-play the situation as if you were watching and listening to a film or live show. Be curious about what unfolds before you and notice the learning you gain from this third perspective. Listen to the conversation and notice the body language of both people and how you both respond to each others communications.
After the scene ends, float back into your body bringing with you all the insights and learning from the three perceptual positions. Pay attention to the difference in your experience. Take all the time you need to fully return to yourself before opening your eyes.
Repeat this as many times as you feel is necessary and always end in the first position of you.
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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