A Simply Coaching Techniques For Creating Personal Change
Creating Frustration for Change
Reading this article means that you want to make a change. There is something in your life that you are not happy with, maybe this is something that you have put up with for a long time, but for some reason, something has triggered inside of you and you are now creating that desire for change, you want to learn how you can create a new alternative and you want to break that negative pattern you have been following for several years.
I work with many clients who often suffer with their problem for a long period of time, which for some, can be years before seeking me out. Many build up strategies and routines to deal or sometimes avoid their concerns. In their mind their problem is an issue, but until now it wasn’t enough of an issue to seek a Manchester life coach.
How do you go from “putting up” with your problem to desiring change? Often the frustration and pain of your situation is manageable, it may be painful but overall you can handle this distress. At some point, something happens, the pain bubbles over and you feel compelled to look for pleasure, a new outcome, a new way of living your life.
One of my weight loss clients said that for years she wanted to lose weight, but each night when choosing what to have for tea she would grab a fatty frozen meal or the take away menu, rather than a healthy option. A couple of weeks before she booked a weight loss session, her friend had been rushed in to hospital after having a heart attack due to her unhealthy lifestyle. The thought of this happening to her, speared her on to want to make a change. When she opened the fridge and seen the fatty frozen meal, she wouldn’t think of the lovely taste, instead all she thought about was hart attacks her friend had.
Build Up The Frustration
To make change quickly and long lasting you need to build up the frustration and pain of your current situation. By creating frustration about your current situation, the reason you want to change, you are more likely to create change.
These following questions are designed to help you build on your emotional reasons for wanting change. Think about each question for 5 minutes and build up images in your mind’s eye in the form of an answer.
- “What is your reason for wanting to make a change?”
- “Why now?”
- “How does that make you feel?”
- “What would happen if you didn’t make this change?”
- “How would that make you feel?”
- “How will not making a change affect your life, your career, your relationships and your wellbeing?”
Positive Motivation
Frustration alone won’t create change, the frustration creates motivation for change. To build on this motivation, you need to see the positive outcome in your life, that will result from the change.
The weight loss client prior to wanting to make a change would tell herself “It’s only one takeaway, tomorrow I will eat healthier” The focus for her was the positive experience of eating a tasty flavourful takeaway rather than the positive experience of living a healthier lifestyle.
To make change happen you need to think not only about the negatives of not changing, you also need to concentrate on the positives of making a change. This is a powerful combination – A; the pain, problems and complications of not changing and B; the gains, positives and advantages of change. A+B = quick and lasting change.
To make the positive outcome emotional, which helps to create change you need to visualise in detail the positive outcome of change. The more sensory experience you create, the more desire you will unconsciously create for change.
To build up motivation in the desired outcome ask yourself these questions, again take time to build up your answers as visualisations in your mind’s eye and concentrate on the positive emotional feelings each answer/image creates.
- “What can you see?”
- “What can you hear?”
- “What do you tell yourself?”
- “How do you feel?”
- “On a scale of 1-10, with 1 representing you don’t want to change and 10 representing you do want to desired outcome, where are you on the scale now?”
Turning Change into Habbit
By thinking about both the pain your current situation and positive outcome of change, through visualisations your mind will create new frames of reference. In the future when you are in a situation where in the past you would respond with X, you will now think about the pain of X and the positive outcome of not doing X. This will quickly build into a new habit which you will do automatically. As does my weight loss coaching client, who now opens the fridge and unconsciously reaches for the fresh, crisp, tasty and healthy salad bowl.
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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