Avoid the Liar Label: Create the Right Environment First
People often flippantly label those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol, as ‘liars’. While people with drug problems can often lie about their behavior, the question remains: what do we gain by calling them this name?
Lies are a two-way street; they come about because the person telling them is afraid that we will chastise, blame, or judge them. Most people (including those who are hooked on drugs or alcohol and those who are on the road to recovery) value honesty. However, when others behave in a way that promotes lying, even the most honorable intentions, can be defeated.
hose who use drugs may be strongly inclined to hide their behavior from family and friends because of their own sense of embarrassment of personal shame. They have internal feelings that motivate lying, which can be compounded by their sense of powerlessness when it comes to ceasing their problematic behavior.
The interactive nature of lying does not excuse lies or put the responsibility on the recipient of these lies; it does, however partially explain why lies arise, and it is a wake-up call to the need to create an atmosphere in which honesty is accepted and fostered. To create a safe climate, we should:
- Be respectful and supportive, avoiding judging others or treating them in a punitive manner.
- Set reasonable standards (so that people do not feel it is impossible to live up to our expectations).
- Remain calm even when we see or hear behavior we do not like.
- Allow for true dialogue and healthy disagreement
- Listen to opposing points of view with an open mind.
- Accept problems and setbacks as an inevitable part of life.
- Support, rather than condemn, people in learning from their experiences.
For the full article click here: It is never too late to create an atmosphere in which true honesty and openness are fostered.
Author: Laura Fallon
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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