How To Inspire Friends in 4 Steps

How To Inspire Friends in 4 Steps

 

Bill walked into the restaurant he could see Samantha, his long term friend was upset. After recently leaving her job to start her own business, Sam had walked into barrier after barrier, hurdle after hurdle

 

Being a good friend Bill wanted to inspire Sam, who had the skills, contacts, knowledge and expertise to make her self-employed dream a success. He started by giving her some advice, this didn’t work, next he asked her to list all her problems and potential future barriers, this made Sam feel worse and finally he told her “you just need to quit moaning and get on with it”

 

It is hard to inspire someone who is feeling low. Our automatic reaction can be similar to Bills but this course of action doesn’t lead to inspiration. These 4 tips will help you inspire someone to feel more positive and to take action

 

 

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You Are Not A Life Coach

 

When wanting to inspire and motivate others it is easy take the role of a life coach, mentor or expert. If your friend required expert advice they would book a session with a professional.

 

Instead inspire your friend by being a friend. Many people take on a “role” because it makes them feel important or powerful, but your goal in this situation is to help your friend to do whatever will work best to help that particular individual

 

Get Specific , Get Moving

 

In some instances a friend just needs to vent. In this situation all you need to do is listen and every so often make an encouraging noise. Once vented they can pick themselves up and carry on actioning the steps required to achieve their goal

 

If your friend is stuck, you can inspire them through conversational coaching, to take action. Most people feeling stuck will have either generic goals or generic reasons for being stuck. To help move your friend out of this rut get them to think more specifically

 

As an example your friend might quote “I can’t get anything right” This generalisation can be challenge to help them become more specific about their barrier “what specifically can’t you get right?”

 

This can easily happen with goals “I want to be successful” Successful in what? By getting people to be more specific allows them to focus and this focus creates action.

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Waying Up The Options

 

Many of us become stuck when we are confronted with choices. Often we know deep down which choice is right, but our conscious mind which checks the details of each choice blurs what is the right or wrong choice

 

To inspire others you need to create contrast. When a friend states “I don’t know what to do” ask “what are the options” once listed, follow up there answer with “if you choose option A how would you feel?” and ask the same question for option B.

 

We make our choices emotionally and this question creates the light bulb moment, creating inspiration.

 

 

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Take Action

 

As you see your friend’s state change – they are becoming more motivated and inspired, you need to focus your friends mind on taking action. If they take immediate action they will work more persistency towards their goal

 

You can get your friend to take action through an indirect question “I like the sound of that option (the option your friend choose) if I was to achieve that option, what would you recommend me to do?”

 

Your friend will now give you advice on their problem. At the end of this self-advice ask “is that what you are planning to do?” It’s a sort of inspirational trap, because they have given you advice for their own problem, they have to take their own advice

 

 

 

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Chris Delaney is also a published author “The 73 Rules of Influencing the Interview – using Psychology, NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Techniques”

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching in Didsbury is easily located for people living in and around Stockport, Manchester, Tameside, Chorlton and Didsbury, as we are just off the M60

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