3 Steps Needed To Make Better Decisions
We make hundreds, no thousands of decisions each day
You made the choice to get out of bed, you choose your breakfast, the route to work, what to wear, to have milk in your coffee, the tone when speaking to friends, family and colleagues, to read this article, you made the choice to stay in or go out, to watch a certain TV program over another, to pay attention to a conversation or to daydream, everything you do is completed through the process of conscious and unconscious decisions
We make both good and bad choices. Some of these bad choices are made unconsciously and later regretted. But what if you learnt to make better choices? If more decisions could be more deliberate?
These 3 steps will help you make better choices and decisions
Step 1 Create Focus
We can focus on a million different things. People will focus on their past, their future, some focus on what can possible go wrong, other focus on potential goals. You can focus on a challenge or a problem, you can focus on your state or your logic. Whatever you focus you feel.
We make choices emotionally. Your emotional state changes your perspective and the decisions you make. If you focus on a problem you will search and find problems wherever you go. If you focus on the glass being half full, you will continually find the positive in each situation.
Many choices are made unconsciously, these unconscious decisions are filtered through your focus and state.
Decide on the state you want to live by, and focus on the stimulus that will feed this emotional state, you will then make choices in your required state, these choices will get you the required outcome you seek
Step 2 Create Meaning
Humans have an instilled habit to find meaning in everything we do
This is why we see the face of god in a burnt piece of toast, or the image of your pet dog in cloud and why we attribute meaning to random events
Imagine playing the slot machines in Las Vegus, you put in 3 coins, each time you win on the third pull of the slot machine, you play 3 more coins and again you win of third pull, you play 2 more coins and lose- What are your instincts shouting? You play one more coin…and…you lose. We are good at finding patterns that don’t exist.
If you’re making bad choices you will often blame it on something; a bad streak, birds flying east instead of west, fate – “I know my luck will change soon”
The meaning that you attribute to your unconscious decisions often creates a cycle that is hard to break, because you believe something will automatically change, a miracle will happen, but the gambler always puts in one more coin.
The only meaning you want to attribute to choices, is that you have the choice. If your focus doesn’t get the required outcome, change your focus. This change in focus, will change your state and the state change will create a new decision
The gambler who focuses on what they have lost, feels bad, this negative state creates the decision not to waste any more money
Step 3 Create Action
When you reflect on your life, your past decisions and what you want to achieve you will become aware of what is and isn’t working for you.
If your reflection highlights that you are making bad decisions you can change your focus, change your state.
The patterns we have been using to make unconscious decisions are well instilled and in many cases have become habits. When you change focus and state you are creating a new neuro-connection, a new pattern and habit.
Because this pattern is in its infancy it can be easily forgotten by the brain, as your unconscious returns to the old behavior. To change your focus long term and to create a new positive decisions making process you need to take action.
As you take action and see the outcome from this new decision, your brain fires dopamine which helps create a new unconscious pattern. By repeating this pattern consciously, you will create a unconscious pattern that you will soon use to make better decisions
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
Chris Delaney is also a published author “The 73 Rules of Influencing the Interview – using Psychology, NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Techniques”
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