How To Live Life in the Moment
We’re all guilty of letting past problems and future worries cloud our day to day experience. On top of plaguing us with sleepless nights, these indulgences come at a cost. They deny us the right to be happy right now, which in turn can knock our confidence. Like it or not, confident people do not keep replaying the moments where they wish they had acted differently or worrying about what the future will hold. The good news is that these stresses and strains are not absolute. By identifying the effect they are having on us, we can control them and in turn give ourselves a much needed confidence boost.
Live In The Now
Living in the present is a key component of happiness. Being engaged with the here and now – and not daydreaming or thinking about past or future events – will lead to happiness, as many philosophers have told us over the past centuries. When we’re happy, we’re also more confident. It’s something of a positive circle: be happy, become confident, be happy about improved confidence, be even more confident.
Not that living in the present is a button you can just switch on. It’ll take dedication to get the level of awareness and mindfulness needed to live in the moment, always. But it can be done by everyone with just a few simple techniques.
Let Go Of The Past/False Dreams
Living in the moment is a doubled edge sword, however. On one hand, it leads to a much deeper long-term happiness (and isn’t that grand!), but on the other, the journey getting there can be a tough one. Living in the moment means we have to confront our past and acknowledge the future dreams that might be false. For example, people who have escaped their lives through drink and drugs may suddenly find that they have to confront the pain they were running from. Though it’ll eventually take them to a better place, the process can be a rough one. Similarly, many people hold false dreams, and they’ll either have to let them go (for now) or actually do them. A person who tells themself that their future self will be great – yet does nothing to achieve that greatness – will have to accept an alternate future or work harder.
Again, this is a tough but necessary step. A person’s confidence may take a few knocks (especially if they learn they’ll probably never be a famous musician/author/etc), but the deeper confidence it is replaced with will be much more unshakeable and worthwhile.
Don’t Idealise Another Person’s Life/Shoot Down Your Own
Living in the moment means seeing things for how they really are. That means you’re not allowed to idealise another person’s existence. The people you see having a great time on social media or in bars aren’t defined by those snapshots of their life. They, too, have their own issues – maybe even with confidence!
In fact, people may be looking at your own life and having their own crisis of confidence. When you’re living in the moment, you’ll see others for who they really are and avoid building up a false narrative of how great their life must be. Equally, you’ll have a fresh perspective of your own life. Instead of wasting your time in your head building up the false narrative of who you are (and if you’re lacking confidence, this one will probably be bad), you can take a step back and see that things aren’t all bad at all. In fact, you may be pleasantly surprised just how great your life is going!
We can’t have it all, remember. If you must compare who you are with anyone, be it yourself. It’s always possible to improve who we are as individuals. Think of who you were in your recent past and work on going one step better.
Nobody ever said the confidence game was an easy one to play, and there are no quick solutions, but there’s real validity in the idea that living in the present can help boost our confidence levels. Without the pressures of reliving your past mistakes or some vague idea of what you want to be in the future, you’ll be free to just enjoy life. And that’s a pretty special gift you can give to yourself.
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
Chris Delaney is also a published author “The 73 Rules of Influencing the Interview – using Psychology, NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Techniques”
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