3 Ways To Become Irresistible at a Party
I was coaching a new client yesterday on confidence. In general, this guy was a confident person, but in a party environment, this included work events, networking parties and birthday parties, he would sneak back in to his shell, hoping for the time to come when he could quietly go home.
Environments change your level of self-worth and confidence. My client in a business meeting was extrovert and confident, but in a situation where he had to talk about himself as a person, to groups of unknown faces, his introvert persona took over.
Here are three killer ways to feel confident while becoming irresistible at a party
Emotional Stories
“Hi I’m Sara”
“erm, hi, I’m Dave”
“What do you do Dave?”
“Well, I, erm work in finance”
“Ok….nice party isn’t it?”
“Yes”
“hmm, nice to meet you Dave i’m going to top up my drink”
Is this a conversation you have had? To make people find you interesting, irresistible and inspiring, use intrigue and stories. People love a good story, as a story creates visual imagery, intriguing plots change peoples states and the outcome of the story can be humorous, sad or meaningful. In short a story helps you control other peoples emotional state
Start your story with an opening, intriguing line “did i tell you how i nearly died last week trying to save a pensioners life?” follow this by explaining the situation and what you did (change you tone and use gestures throughout this section) and end with the story outcome.
“Hi I’m Sara”
“erm, hi, I’m Dave”
“What do you do Dave?”
“Well, I, erm work in finance, I know it sounds boring but the strangest thing happened to me this week, it’s so weird, that I shouldn’t even be talking about..”
“really, go on tell me…please”
Focus on Them and Only Them
People loved to be listened to, in fact people desire attention as it makes us feel good about ourselves.
When you meet someone new at a party, your whole focus has to be on them, and only them. Become curious, intrigued about this person. Ask open questions, listen without interrupting – nodding in all the right places, request more detail and follow the detail of the story, summarizing what she has said when appropriate.
No matter what goes on in the room, your focus is this one person. Be in a trance – you can only see and hear this amazing person, as no-one else counts.
People love people who are this interested in us, it helps us to feel special. At this stage they will ask questions about you, turn this around and ask them more questions about them.
Scarcity
People want what they cant have.
No matter if you are using stories or focus to become desirable, the icing on the cake is making people like you and then leaving, as this will double the desire they have to you.
At the end of the story, or when you feel that the person you are focusing on is coming to a natural communication end, make a polite excuse to move away “I’d love to know more about you, but I just need to say hi to the host, but i’d love to catch up later”
As they feel alive to be near you, the thought of you going is highly painful. You will find that after 30-45 minutes this person will seek you out.
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
Chris Delaney is also a published author “The 73 Rules of Influencing the Interview – using Psychology, NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Techniques”
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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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