NLP Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy

Posts tagged ‘didsbury life coaching’

Didsbury Life Coaching: GROW Technique

Didsbury Life Coaching: Grow Technique

GROW – Goal, Reality, Options and Will

This is an extract from the 101 Coaching Techniques e-book

 

The GROW model is a set of coaching questions to help your client achieve their goals, by asking a set of questions to move their thinking into a positive direction. This is one of the most famous goal setting techniques.

 

 

Explain to the Client

 

 

First, you need to agree a Goal and Outcome. What is your goal? Make the goal specific, measurable and realistic. You have to believe in your goal, also be consistent don’t have a goal that conflicts with another goal or you will lose motivation in an instant.

 

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Client Exercise

 

 

Goal Questions:

 

The Goal – what do you want to achieve? Keep this as simple as possible! The goal questions will support you to understand the goal and when it will be achieved.

 

  • What is the aim of this discussion?
  • What is the long term goal?
  • What is the short term goal?
  • Who is it for? Who are your end customers?
  • What do they really want? What is the benefit for your customers and you? What would make your customers/managers happy?
  • What do you need to deliver so your customer/line managers get what they want?
  • How long might it take to deliver? Is this feasible?
  • What would you consider as a milestone?
  • If everything went as well as possible, what would be the best possible outcome?
  • What does success look like to you?
  • How will you know that you have achieved your goal?
  • What is your budget? Is this feasible?
  • What will you look for when you deliver it? What would make the team unhappy? What would motivate them?
  • How will you measure your goal?
  • How can your passed experience help you achieve this goal?
  • What can you personally do to achieve your goal?
  • How much control does each of the team members have over the goal?

 

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Reality Questions:

 

To achieve your goal you need to understand the Reality of your  current situation, skills, time constraints, attitudes, process and how far or near you are to achieving your goal.

 

  • What is happening now? – Who, what, where, how and when?
  • What is the effect or result of that?
  • How busy are you?
  • When things aren’t going well, who else can be brought in?
  • What is the current situation like?
  • Who is involved? What are they like? What can they add?
  • What’s working and not working?
  • Do you have enough time to achieve your gaol?
  • What is missing?
  • What is holding you back?
  • What can get you started?
  • What keeps you awake at night?
  • How easy is it to get things done?
  • How often have you tried?
  • Who is involved?
  • What is your part in the team?
  • What has already been started?

 

 

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Option Questions:

 

First look at the overall big picture and the break this down in to smaller details. Remember that you different experiences and knowledge, this experience and knowledge will open new possibilities and options.

 

  • What are the two main options?
  • What else could you do?
  • What other options do you have?
    What if all constraints were removed?
  • What are the benefits and negatives of each option?
  • What factors will you use to weigh up the options?
  • If you had more time, what would you do?
  • If money was not an issue, what resources would you have?
  • If you had complete power what would you try?
  • How could you go about doing this?
  • How else could you go about doing it?
  • What could go wrong with that approach?
  • What would work well?
  • How long would it take to achieve each option?
  • What resource and expenditure would be needed?
  • What are the risks in each option?
  • What criteria will you use to select the main option?
  • What should you do first, next, last?
  • What are the cost and benefits of each of these ideas?
  • If you had more confidence, what would you try?
  • What could you sue as a back up plan?

 

Will Questions:

 

Once you understand and believe in the goal and can see that this goal is achievable and realistic, you will be ready to start moving towards that goal. The Will questions are designed to get you thinking about starting your task.

 

  • So what will you do now?
  • What options will you choice?
  • To what extent does this meet all of your objectives?
  • What will you start first?
  • When will start (each step)?
  • What could stop you moving forward?
  • And how will you overcome it?
  • Will this address your goal?
  • How likely is this option to succeed?
  • What else will you do?
  • When will you know you are ready for this? How does it light your fire?
  • What will light your fire?
  • Is there anything stopping you from committing whole-heartedly to this?
  • Who else needs to buy in to it?
  • Who needs to know about the goal or action plan?
  • What needs to happen to make people enthusiastic?
  • What rewards for completion would help?
  • What additional help do you need?
  • What could I do to support you?
  • What can get you real excited about starting this project?
  • Is there anything thing else you need to before we start?

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

Sponsored Adverts

Train to Be a life Coach and Make Money as a part time or full time Coach

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101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

 

  • Hypnosis for Smoking in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for weight loss in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for fears and phobias in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for self esteem in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for anxiety in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for alcoholism in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for confidence in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for goals in Didsbury

Hypnotherapy in Didsbury is easily located for people living in and around Stockport, Manchester, Tameside, Chorlton and Didsbury.

Mothers Smell Creates Phobia In Baby

Mothers Smell Creates Phobia In Baby

HNGN.com this week discusses new research that suggests babies can literally smell their mother’s fear and become phobic themselves.

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Research has been initially completed on rats “The researchers observed mother rats who had learned to fear the smell of peppermint and found they “taught” this phobia to their offspring.”

This makes perfect sense as other recent research has found that human DNA maybe prone to become phobic of certain stimulus’s such as spiders. We also know how babies and young children learn from observational learning, copying the behaviour of their mothers or other adults in their life. These two factors as with the rats can be enough for babies to sense the fear of their parent to a certain stimulus and to take on this fear themselves.

Before they can even make their own experiences, they basically acquire their mothers’ experiences. Most importantly, these maternally-transmitted memories are long-lived, whereas other types of infant learning, if not repeated, rapidly perish,”

 

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Once a neuropathway has been formed in the baby’s brain to create a fear response to a stimulus, the reaction is repeated with each fear/response stimulus until the phobia is created. Phobias are created so we can act automatic to a stimulus, often without consciously knowing we have reacted until after we have responded. Being able to respond without thinking is a life saving mechanism that is still used in humans today.

To read the article in full click the source Babies Smell Moms Fear Phenomenon Can Give Children Irrational Phobias

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

Sponsored Adverts

Train to Be a life Coach and Make Money as a part time or full time Coach

coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

 

  • Hypnosis for Smoking in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for weight loss in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for fears and phobias in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for self esteem in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for anxiety in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for alcoholism in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for confidence in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for goals in Didsbury

Hypnotherapy in Didsbury is easily located for people living in and around Stockport, Manchester, Tameside, Chorlton and Didsbury.

Didsbury Life Coaching: Conquer Depression in 5 Steps

Didsbury Life Coaching: Conquer Depression in 5 Steps

Depression becomes a negative cycle. You wake up believing you are depressed, throughout the day you unconsciously search for evidence that you are depressed. This evidence, once found reinforces your belief about being depressed, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Your feelings of depression become stronger while unconsciously you search for new evidence.

Depressed people find it hard to achieve their goals, they believe that there not worthy of anything; securing a new job, finding a partner, even being happy. Depressed people believe that they will fail and that others have all the luck.

Depression is in the mind, if you see the negative perspective in all situations, if you believe you will always fail, if you imagine that everyone dislikes you will feel emotionally low. Constant negative emotions (the chemicals released into your body when feeling depressed) affect your body; medical conditions, bad skin and hair loss.

But when you can change your perspective, when you look on the bright side of things, when you have self respect, self confidence and self belief, when you change your negative beliefs to positive beliefs, when you set and achieve your goals, when you enjoy living your life, you will start to feel more positive. These positive emotions allow positive chemicals to be released into your system so you feel good and often more healthy.

It can often be easier then you think to change your emotional state, changing how you physically feel. These 5 life coaching activities will help you get started.

 

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1. Dress to Impress….yourself

How you look affects how you feel. Imagine looking into a mirror and looking at yourself with scruffy hair, unflattering clothes and torn trainers. Your appearance can make a big difference towards your attitude. First go through your wardrobe and through away (or better still give to charity) your old rags. Next go shopping, hire a personal shopper and restock your wardrobe, follow this by a new hair style and a pampering session. Finally with your new look and new clothes, stand in front of a mirror and notice how great you look. Take this opportunity to make an effort each day to dress to impress…yourself.

2. Change the Mind, Change the Body

 

Your mind and body work as one, sending signals to each other. A client walked in to my office the other day with her head hanging down, when asked what was wrong she said “I’m feeling down.” Body movements and facial expressions are designed to trigger emotions, as your mussels move they trigger electrons in your mind that make you feel surprised, sad, happy, scared or any of the other emotional responses that we have hardwired in our mind. This is one reason why people describe their mood through a metaphor, you may physically feel that you “have the world on my shoulders”

Depressed peoples body language will often include; slumped shoulders, lethargic movements and head lowered down – looking towards the floor.

What is interesting is if you physically stand up, hold you head up high, make eye contact with others, you will automatically feel more confident – this is instantaneous. Even more important if you force yourself to laugh for 10 minutes everyday you will start to feel happy without knowing why.

 

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3. The Devil in Your Head

Many people who are depressed are so because they give themselves negative self talk on a daily basis “you’re a failure..” “Everyone will laugh at you..” this negative voice is limiting your expectations and causes sadness or worry.

To quickly eradicate this voice imagine that you can turn the voice into a shape and then give the shape a color. Slowly at first, move the shape down your body, from your head to your shoulder, from your shoulder to your arm, down your arm and onto your palm. Imagine the shape falling from your palm onto your leg, down your leg onto your foot and watch the shape fall off your foot, most people at this stage get the urge to kick the shape away. For this technique to work you have to imagine seeing the shape move away, down your body. Once the shape has been kicked away ask yourself how do I feel about the voice now? For most the power from the voice has gone. Repeat this technique until you can no longer retrieve the voice, even if you try.

4. What I Want I Never Get It

 

You hear these statements on a regular basis “I want to be a millionaire” “I want a big house” “I want to double my salary” “I want to be happy.” It is good to set yourself goals, but you have to remember that just wanting something doesn’t mean you will achieve it. Ask any successful person and they will tell you, you will have to work hard to achieve your goal.

When working towards a goal you need a plan with several milestones. Milestones are used so you can see that you are moving forward and getting closer to the big goal. If you want to be a millionaire, the first milestone should be to plan how you will make money, your second milestone may be research business ideas/money making strategies, your third milestone as an example maybe to research how successful millionaires became successful. As you achieve your small goals your big goals will fall into place naturally, it is also good to plan for the ‘bad’ days and have a strategy to deal with these not so good days.

The importance of achieving goals is enjoying the journey. Artist have always enjoyed the creativity of drawing, even when they were penniless and it looked as if they would never been seen by the public as successful. Their passion for art kept them going and it was their skill over hundreds of hours of practice they made them successful. It’s the same with any goal, you need to enjoy what you are doing and in time you will become a success. Even entrepreneurs who started out working on market stalls enjoyed selling, profits sheets and searching for profitable products, while at the same time dreaming on multi-million pound deals secured in an expensive boardroom.

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5. Me, Me, Me and Me

 

Do you always focus on yourself? Many unhappy people go into situations looking at what they can get out of it? They rarely think about completing selfless acts, helping others for free and making a contribution to others, when there is nothing in it for them. But there missing out on the big secret, because the more you help others, contributing through volunteering, offering spare change to a stranger in the supermarket who has gone over their predicted bill and has no spare change or even the old cliché of helping some elderly stranger cross the road, the more you will feel good about yourself. Yes that’s right when you help people unselfishly you will feel good about yourself, boosting your self esteem and image, increasing positively the view you hold of yourself.

How to Feel Good About Yourself

 

There are many ways to help you feel more positive, to boost your self esteem and to give you the confidence to enjoy your life. These 5 simple techniques will help you get started, helping you to take control and to do something positive with your life.

Being able to take control gives you the power back. Rather then working on an unconscious pattern; feeling depressed, searching for evidence, feeling worse. You now have a choice. You can pick an activity to break that pattern and feel good about yourself. When completed on a regular basis you will wake up feeling good about yourself naturally, you will believe that you are a good person, and start to, unconsciously find evidence to back up this new belief.

Final Thought

 

Imagine you were this successful version of yourself who is confident and successful; where are you, what do you do, how do you act, who are your friends, where do you live, how much money do you have in the bank, are you married, a parent, a traveler, a business person? Imagine that this successful version of you, could look back and give the you now some advice, what advice would you give yourself?

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

Sponsored Adverts

Train to Be a life Coach and Make Money as a part time or full time Coach

coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

  • Hypnosis for Smoking in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for weight loss in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for fears and phobias in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for self esteem in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for anxiety in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for alcoholism in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for confidence in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for goals in Didsbury

Hypnotherapy in Didsbury is easily located for people living in and around Stockport, Manchester, Tameside, Chorlton and Didsbury.

Manchester Life Coaching: How Micro Thoughts Form Bad Habits

How Micro Thoughts Form Bad Habits

John was running late. After making a quick breakfast, egg on toast, he quickly jumped into his car and headed down the road. after about 10 minutes a little voice in Johns head repeated “you have left the gas on….you have left the gas on.” Worry built up and soon John had spun the car around and was driving home, knowing that each minute was making him later and later. The panicked John reached home and ran straight into the kitchen only to find that he had turned the gas off before he had left for work.

 

 

We have all been in John’s shoes, but why does that internal talk happen? What is the purpose of this chartering self talk? This internal talk can be a pain, especially if you’re running late and it tells you that you have left the gas on. But the internal talk is there to keep you safe. It helps to warn you about potential danger – this doesn’t mean its always right, as in John’s case the gas was turned off.

 

 

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Forming Habits

 

 

You have a hundred billion neurons in your brain, these neurons help you to react to the world spontaneously by finding past references to the situation you currently find yourself in, so you know how to act. These quickly become habits and these habits help you to react quicker, allowing your conscious brain to focus on other stuff, rather than having to consciously think “how do I react to this situation?”

 

 

The anxiety built up in John, thinking that he left the gas on, maybe coupled, as an example with the knowledge that his girlfriend was sleeping upstairs unaware of the danger. This emotional reaction can be so powerful it becomes associated with the car and driving to work. The next morning John drives to work, he remembers the anxiety feeling, the voice returns “have you left the gas on?” John knowing its not worth the risk to carry on, turns his car around and a habit is born. After a couple of conscious “should I turn the car around” John finds that setting off in the morning to work, hearing the worried internal voice and returning home before setting off again, has become part of his morning routine, he even leaves for work a little earlier so the return home journey doesn’t make him late.

 

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Night Time Voices

 

Habit forming also happens at night. Many of us will put our mobile phone on charge in the bedroom. Modern smart phones are linked to our social media profile and our e-mails, and it this awareness that forms bad habits that can stop us sleeping.

 

Julia just returned from a successful first date, set up by her friend sara. The date had gone great, he was lovely; good looking, intelligent and a gentleman. They had exchanged phone numbers and on the train had messaged each other, asking questions they didn’t have time to ask on the date. Questions turned to flirting and flirting turned to complements and the potential for a second date to be organised. This messaging had continued as Julia arrived home, and soon after Julia had decided to go to bed. She put her phone on charge, drew the curtains and jumped into bed. She had a big meeting tomorrow and needed a good nights sleep. As she closed her eyes she kept thinking about the date and how great it was, maybe her inner voice told her “you should check your phone just incase?” Encouraged by her self talk, she got out of bed and no message. After 10 seconds of being back in bed the inner voice asked “maybe he just replied as you were getting into bed?” It took Julia 3 hours to get to sleep. The next night a tiered Julia went to bed early. The day had been amazing, the meeting had gone well and the guy she had dated had texted and had arranged a second date. They had continued to text each other through the evening. Julia had decided for an early night, as she got in her bed her inner voice suggested “you should check you messages just encase….”

 

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Mobile Phone Research

 

On a side note. A lot of research has been conducted on mobile phone being left in the bedroom and how they affect your sleep. It is now recommended that you charge your phone in a separate room. The reason behind this is that our brain is sensitive to light. The nerves in our eyes send signals to the brain, when light is detected we know when we should be waking up. The light from the mobile phone when on charge confuses our internal sleep/wake system making us believe dawn is approaching taking us out of a deep sleep.

 

Breaking Habits

 

Becoming aware of a habit forming is key to breaking the habit. Once aware you can set up a system to break the habit. John as an example could set up a checklist to ensure he has checked the gas. When the voice questions him on the journey his list will provide the evidence that the house and girlfriend are safe and he can continue on his journey. This continuation of his journey can be enough depending on how deep the habit has become, to break the habit.

 

 

Your brain is constantly learning and changing through plasticity, which is why we can form new positive habits – going to bed without checking the phone because you charged it downstairs. With a little repetition new habits that serve you well are created allowing you to focus on other elements of your life.

 

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

Sponsored Adverts

Train to Be a life Coach and Make Money as a part time or full time Coach

coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

  • Hypnosis for Smoking in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for weight loss in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for fears and phobias in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for self esteem in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for anxiety in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for alcoholism in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for confidence in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for goals in Didsbury

Hypnotherapy in Didsbury is easily located for people living in and around Stockport, Manchester, Tameside, Chorlton and Didsbury.

NLP Hypnosis Manchester – Moving The Pictures

NLP Hypnosis Manchester – Moving The Pictures

Two clients came to see me for relationship coaching, I asked them both to think of their last holiday. The wife smiled, while the husband frowned. The same question had invoked different emotional responses.

 

Our mind often creates images out of the words we hear. These images are referenced against our emotional memories before we are automatic told how to react through an instant chemical release creating our current state. The wife remembered positive holiday memories and felt good, the husband remembered a negative memoir and felt bad.

 

To take control of yourself you can learn to change the sub modalities of these images which change the motional response. The submodalities include colour, picture size, moving or stilled image, brightness, attached or detached images, dimness, distance of image, framed or unframed image, sounds, smells and internal self-talk, plus many others.

 

 

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Changing Your Emotional Response to a Memory

 

To highlight the power of changing the submodalities of an emotional memory I would first like to you to think of a past event that made you feel anxious or nervous. This could be a first date, an interview, public speaking or anything that created a thought of dread.

 

When you remember this scary event on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel, with 1 representing completely calm and 10 representing arghhhhh I’m really anxious!

 

Think about the image; where abouts is this image in your mind? Is it in front of your head, further of in the distance, to one side, is it like looking at a photo or a giant cinema screen?

 

Wherever it is, move the image in front of you so you can see the edges of the picture and you can see all the people in the image including yourself, so rather than seeing it from your own eyes you see it from the view of an observer.

 

If the image is a moving picture, a film, I want you to pause the film so it becomes a stilled image. If the image is in colour let the colour drain from the picture so you are left with a black and white stilled photograph.

 

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Ask yourself now, while looking at this image on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel, with 1 representing completely calm and 10 representing arghhhhh I’m really anxious!

 

Next move the image further and further away towards the horizon, and the further away the image goes the smaller the picture becomes, getting smaller and smaller the future away you move it – how do you feel now?

 

Move the picture so far away that it is hard to make out the detail, it becomes fuzzy, until it shrinks and shrinks going from the size of a postcard, to a stamp and finally to a dot on the horizon – how do you feel no on a scale of 1-10? Let that dot fade away one last time.

 

Have you noticed that your negative emotions that were once strong have vanished? You can do this NLP technique with any negative memory helping you to feel how you want to feel, respond how you want to respond, act how you want to act.

 

NLP and hypnotherapy help you to have more choices and if you complete this exercise often enough or in a trance state you will find that at some point soon, you won’t even be able to recall the negative image, even if you try.

 

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

 google_plus_logo1

Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

Sponsored Adverts

Train to Be a life Coach and Make Money as a part time or full time Coach

coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

  • Hypnosis for Smoking in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for weight loss in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for fears and phobias in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for self esteem in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for anxiety in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for alcoholism in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for confidence in Didsbury
  • Hypnosis for goals in Didsbury

Hypnotherapy in Didsbury is easily located for people living in and around Stockport, Manchester, Tameside, Chorlton and Didsbury.

The Clients Perception, Change It.

 The Clients Perception, Change It.

Phobias, a lack of confidence, no self worth, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, overweight, abuse, negative self talk, limiting beliefs are some of the reasons people come for therapy.

It is often the case that clients have “put up” with their personal issue for a number of years. Their perception of their issue being one that they can “put up” with X, changes to one of “overbearing” – I need to get rid of X. It is this change in their perception that brings client to therapy.

Therapy is often seen as a last ditch effort from the client and many clients wont truly believe that therapy will help them. Many hypnotherapist will use arm elevation to change the clients perception from one of “this wont work on me” to “my arm is rising without me moving it, I must be hypnotised, if the therapist can do this to me, they will easily be able to cure me”

To produce fast therapy, we need the client to change their perceptions, just as the clients own perception of their personal issue changed from one of “annoyance” to a perception of “I can no longer deal with this.”

 

 

 

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Internal perceptions can be changed to, the overeater instead of seeing a tasty bag of chips and a delicious burger, will see greasy food, her weight increasing and a potential hart attack. The client’s frame of focus can change to; seeing the whole burger, part of the burger or the burger on a counter in a takeaway. The clients frame of focus changes their emotional response. And which part they focus on changes their motivation to, in this case the eating or not eating of the burger.

Two friends went with me last time I brought of beef burger, one focused on the grease, the fat, the cooking oil smell and the smell of burnt onions. She could see the paper napkin below the burger changing colour and texture as the grease dripping from the burger bun, soaked into the napkin. She ordered the salad. The other, a big meat eater, focused on the thick meaty burger, he could smell the tender meat, hear the sizzling in the pan, see the cheese dripping slowly of the burger, the bun and salad looked fresh, within seconds he had ordered two of them.

As the clients perception change their map of their world expands and changes to. The therapist has to take on their clients map to support them, by understanding how the client sees the world, and to communicate this back to them using “clean language” and by presenting choice.

 

 

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Second guessing the client’s thoughts can break rapport, instead the therapist needs to step into the client and see the world from their eyes, using solution focus questions to allow the client to find their own solutions and options.

Therapist can facilitate change through metaphors, reframing and offering comparisons, allowing the client to try on a new perspective. To increase motivation the therapist may ask clients to focus on the future, a future version of them when they haven’t changed, allowing the clients perception of their future self to motivate them. And then compare that, to them when they have changed, which creates or at least starts a belief that they can change, because they just visualised it.

Many clients focus on the negatives of the situation, or a past situations. By looking at the positive perception of this situation, can create an extended map, a new perception to work from. The weight loss client may complain “I’ve always eat, I’ve eaten everything that was put in front of me, I can’t stop” a therapist friend replied with “good, because I don’t want you to stop eating, I want you think about everything that was put in front of you that you ate and pick only the dishes you liked” The therapist is telling the client that she liked creates the presumption that she disliked certain foods, this is a different map to “I eat everything that is put in front of me”

 

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Clients will often generalise their life “no-one likes me” which creates a limiting map, when challenged the clients map can change “….well, obviously my mum likes me, and my friends, but my friends have all known me from being young.” Therapist “so, what you’re saying is people who get to know you like you?”

Creating an extended map, new choices and a new perception to look at old situations, can rapidly increase change in the client allowing them to move forward quicker then expected.

 

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Manchester NLP and Hypnotherapy; Fast Therapy in 8 Steps

Fast Therapy in 8 Steps

I am constantly looking for new ways to support clients to gain faster and lasting results. Neuroscience is helping therapist understand how changes are being made at the neuro level during therapeutic session  and I envisage that more research will help us achieve a goal of instant therapy.

 

Starting out as a therapist I wanted to find that one technique that would cure all my clients.  Sadly this wasn’t the case, but NLP and Hypnotherapy gave me a range of tools to support clients quickly and research into motivation allowed me to encourage clients throughout my sessions. Still I wanted to support clients in the minimum amount of sessions possible.

 

The process of Fast Therapy came from a mixture of therapeutic disciplines, allowing me to cure phobias in one session and to boost confidence instantly. Some techniques that I use in Step 6 such as the Fast Phobia Cure can work in their own right, but when practising I found that sometimes a technique alone would work for one client but not another, which is why I turned to motivational research, and found that embedding Frustration and Visualised Outcomes into the therapy session ensured change was desired.

 

This multi-therapeutic approach breaks down clients resistance, increases motivation and has a flexible approach to use the techniques best suited for each client. Techniques and metaphors are tailored per client creating a personal centred approach, while using the motivational start, state changes and the visualized outcome to create lasting change. In a way Fast therapy is a motivational sandwich where the therapist chooses the best filling appropriate to the client’s situation.

 

 

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Step 1. Frustration for Change

 

Clients often suffer with their problem for a period of time, which for some, can be years before seeking therapy. Many build up strategies and routines to deal or sometimes avoid their concerns.   In their mind their problem is an issue, but not enough of an issue to seek therapy.

 

In most clients, their perception change that takes their problem from one that they “put up” with to one that they need to desperately overcome. To create fast therapy, you can increase focus on this frustration to create a stronger desire to want to overcome it.

 

A middle aged women came in with a phobia of spiders. Even the word spider created strong anxiety. She had lived with arachnophobia for over 10 years and used her husband as a strategy for not being surprised by spiders; she would send him into any room first, before entering it herself! When asked why she had decided to overcome her phobia now, she replied “I noticed that my children are becoming phobic and it’s not fair on the kids, sometimes I won’t go over to a friend’s house because of the thought of a spider, I don’t want my kids to miss out on parties, because i’m passing my phobia onto them”

 

By creating increased frustration about their current situation, the reason they want to overcome their barrier, the client is more likely to create change; it’s the “I’ve just had enough” tactic.

 

To create change by using frustration ask questions that build on their emotional reasons for wanting change.

 

  1. “What is your reason for coming today?”
  2. “Why now?”
  3. “How does that make you feel?”
  4. “What would happen if you didn’t make this change?”
  5. “How would that make you feel?”

 

Step 2. Desiring a Better Outcome

 

Frustration alone won’t create change, the frustration create motivation for change.   To build on this motivation, client needs to see the potential positive outcome to their change. This is why an overweight person wanting to lose weight, will often say “well it’s only one bag of chips” there focus is on the tasty food not the positive outcome of not eating the chips.

 

As a client visualises in detail the positive outcome to overcoming their issue their motivation will increase. The therapist has to support the client to build a story in their mind using all of the senses, allowing clients to go inside themselves until they see the future them, from their own eyes, creating a stronger emotional response. Your goal here is to create anticipation for change, a motivation for desire to change and a positive emotional memory about the outcome of change.

 

As the therapist asked “what would be different in your life if you were more confident?” the client smiled. “I would meet attractive girls…and they’d like me.” “What would happen if you meet attractive girls, and they liked you?” Asked the therapist.  “Well.. my confidence would grow more, and I’d probably go for that promotion at work I always put off…” The therapist goes on to get more sensory details “What would you say to yourself as this was happening?” “What else can you see” “What do others say?” “How does this make you feel?”

 

The more sensory experience you create in the client, the more of a desire they will have for change. This technique isn’t done in trance, rather you sensory based questions creates an awakened trance, allowing the client to internalise this new emotional memory.

 

To build up motivation in the desired outcome ask

  • “What can you see?”
  • “What can you hear?”
  • “What do you tell yourself?”
  • “How do you feel?”
  • “On a scale of 1-10, with 1 representing you don’t want to change and 10 representing you do want to desired outcome, where are you on the scale now?”

 

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Step 3. Creating a Choice for Relaxation

 

The relaxation trance teaches clients first to relax, but more importantly it teaches how they can quickly change state. Clients in a state of relaxation are more likely to make stronger emotional memories, as part of the brain that challenges differences shuts down, allowing clients to follow your commands.

 

Clients can use this experience of relaxation; often I get the client to walk down 10 steps to a beautiful place in nature (a made up place or memory) creating a sensory based experienced allowing them to relax. I build up the feeling of relaxation, and add a post hypnotic suggestion “and whenever you want to relax again, all you need to do is imagine walking down the 10 steps until you find yourself in the beautiful place in nature and with each descending number you will feel yourself relaxing more and more..” or create a strong relaxation anchor by squeezing the clients thumb and finger tighter.

 

This part of therapy teaches clients how to change state, how to relax but also teaches clients that they now have a choice. If they want to relax, they can do so by accessing their relaxation anchor.

 

Step 4. Matching Metaphor

 

Clients often feel they’re alone, they are the only one with a particular issue, and often the limiting belief creates the feeling of “the world is on my shoulders.” At this stage of fast therapy, we break this belief through a matching metaphor, because as you break one belief it is easier to break others throughout the intervention.

 

During this stage, we use the metaphor to create an undesired outcome – what happens if you didn’t make a change? This is the opposite of the desired outcome which is perceived as pleasurable. To keep the motivational level high, we show them through a metaphor, the agony of leaving the situation as it is. As the story you are about to tell, is about someone else, the client won’t question you or create an unconscious block, but they will instead, make their own meaning out of the therapist words.

 

I had a client similar to you with a similar problem, he came to see me but had left his problem to long. When he was young he had gotten lost in the woods, he was only lost for 5 minutes, but to him it felt like a lifetime. The thought of being lost in the forest kept playing on his mind, and he soon became phobic of forest. At first he just avoided forrest, but his phobia grew and grew, and he soon become phobic of groups of trees, then individual trees. Soon he couldn’t go near shrubs, or plants, even wooden fences started to make him feel anxious…”

 

The first metaphor is designed to first allow the client to understand that many people have similar problems, some which are perceived worst or funnier then there’s. The client can understand how one problem, left, can evolve into something else or into different parts of their life and is designed to increase the motivation for change; I don’t want my issue to evolve

 

Step 5. Emotional Resource Metaphors

 

We believe that’s clients have the resources they require inside of themselves. By using related metaphors the client can find these resources and use them in new situations. When remembering a past experience, such as time when you were confident you will remember the emotional attachment to that memory and relive those emotions, as you can only feel one emotion at a time. These emotional resources can then be anchored and used in new situations. This includes a visualised event, as your mind does not know the difference between a real and visualised event, and stores them both as emotional memories, which is how we can create new resources by feeling X emotion in Y situation.

 

 

“I want you to remember being back at school, when you were learning you’re A, B and Cs, you probably believed that you will never learn all 26 letters in the right order, when you learnt your A, B and Cs. But now without thinking you can recall all of the 26 letters, and even better,  you can put these letters in different orders to create different words, and those different words put together in a different order create different sentences, all because you can learnt you’re A, B and Cs..”

 

To create an emotional resource metaphor you first need to understand what resource/state the client requires. You can then use metaphors that are understood by all; we all went to school and learnt to spell, we have all learnt to ride a bike, we have all become excited about Christmas or a birthday party, we have felt like we have been in love, we have all used our imagination to play a game, we have all felt stress then felt the release after the situation has ended.

 

Clients will also discuss part of their lives which can be used as an emotional resource metaphor. Erickson famously used the metaphor of nurturing and growing a tomato plant, to a client who was a gardener.

 

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Step 6. Quick Change Work

 

By this stage the client is often well in trance, through relaxation and metaphor techniques. Sometimes I will wake the clients between the fast therapy stages, before taking them back, often into a deeper trance state. In the change process your aim is to create new neuropathways to help the client have new ways of working.

 

Clients will often visualise negative situations that create stress, depression, loneliness. Other clients will give themselves negative self-talk or describe their situation through a metaphor “I feel like I’m stuck in a rut” The change section of fast therapy breaks these routine patterns and looks at new ways of working.

 

Depending on how the clients “does X” in their head depends on the technique you use. For example you may use a trace state to get the clients to cross an imaginary bridge with the associated feeling of relaxation, to then face their phobia, while feeling relaxed, calm and intrigued.  You may move a negative image away from their minds eye, turning it black and white until the negative emotions dwindle. Or you may turn the negative self-talk into a shape.

 

Common techniques include:

  • NLP Submodalities
  • Spinning Feelings
  • Reframing
  • Anchoring
  • Timeline Therapy
  • Exploring Metaphors
  • Laughter States
  • Anchors

 

This is always ended with a positive future pace, seeing the new you from the eyes of this new resourceful you. I often ask the client when they are seeing the world from their future resourceful self to give the them now, sat the the chair some advice – its always really powerful and positive.

 

Step 7. Closing Down All Metaphors

 

To end, we finish the stories from each metaphor, starting with the last metaphor and ending with the first metaphor, linking all parts of the therapy session. The client may have consciously forgot about the original stories they have heard, but now they will come flooding back.

 

“And you remember that every day you learnt something new at school, you took that learning at some level and your unconscious, put that learning into an automatic process, creating a new way of doing, a new choice and a new piece of knowledge. Just like if I asked you what the 4th letter of the alphabet is, because you learnt your A, B and Cs, you would know that it is D, or if I asked you what 2 x 2 is? You know without thinking that the answer is 4. You are unconsciously competent at so many things, which means you have learnt new things all your life just like you did today, just like the boy in the woods did. He first learnt to be scared of every forrest, every tree and anything made out of wood, but he also learnt that that wasn’t a good behaviour, was it? So he learnt a new way to react, he learnt to move the pictures in his head away so he would feel different, he learnt to associate the feeling of relaxation with trees and forest so he felt relaxed and calm whenever he came across one, he learnt that he had the choice and if he choose to feel relaxed everytime he seen a tree he would become unconsciously competent at feeling relaxed with every tree, shrub or forest and he did, he became so good at feeling this way…”

 

Step 8. Check for Changes

 

Once you awaken the client from trance, you want to test the therapy. Ask how they feel about X? Some will feel completely different while others will have started the process and their unconscious will continue to make the changes throughout the night.

 

At this stage, point out to the client their current changes “that’s great, because when you came in you were a 9/10 on the scale now you are only a 4/10, which means tonight when you sleep deeply your unconscious mind will take it down to a 3, then a 2 and then a 1”

 

To focus the client on change, ask:

  • “Compare how you felt when you came in to how you feel now”
  • “If you became X again, what would you do now?”
  • “What choices do you have now?”
  • “How would you relax if you needed to?”
  • “What are you on the scale now? What do you need to do to move down the scale?”
  • “Imagine walking out of this room and as you walk around the corner and you become aware of X, how do you feel?”

 

In addition if needed, I will set the “change work” I used as a homework task for the client to practice every 2nd night for 10 nights. I will e-mail the technique to them.

 

I have found that clients initial response is not always as positive as I hope (ideally I’d love clients to jump out of the chair shouting i’m cured, i’m cured) instead they are unsure, they know something is different, but what? But after a couple of nights I will telephone the client who has been cured (they don’t always know this. I rang a client 2 weeks after therapy because she had been away on holiday, when I asked how she felt around spiders, she told me “I don’t know I’ve not seen one for 2 weeks” this was a client who found spiders everywhere she went before running away screaming) or has moved forward in leaps or bounds.

 

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

Sponsored Adverts

Train to Be a life Coach and Make Money as a part time or full time Coach

coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

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