Didsbury Life Coaching: Conquer Depression in 5 Steps
Depression becomes a negative cycle. You wake up believing you are depressed, throughout the day you unconsciously search for evidence that you are depressed. This evidence, once found reinforces your belief about being depressed, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Your feelings of depression become stronger while unconsciously you search for new evidence.
Depressed people find it hard to achieve their goals, they believe that there not worthy of anything; securing a new job, finding a partner, even being happy. Depressed people believe that they will fail and that others have all the luck.
Depression is in the mind, if you see the negative perspective in all situations, if you believe you will always fail, if you imagine that everyone dislikes you will feel emotionally low. Constant negative emotions (the chemicals released into your body when feeling depressed) affect your body; medical conditions, bad skin and hair loss.
But when you can change your perspective, when you look on the bright side of things, when you have self respect, self confidence and self belief, when you change your negative beliefs to positive beliefs, when you set and achieve your goals, when you enjoy living your life, you will start to feel more positive. These positive emotions allow positive chemicals to be released into your system so you feel good and often more healthy.
It can often be easier then you think to change your emotional state, changing how you physically feel. These 5 life coaching activities will help you get started.
1. Dress to Impress….yourself
How you look affects how you feel. Imagine looking into a mirror and looking at yourself with scruffy hair, unflattering clothes and torn trainers. Your appearance can make a big difference towards your attitude. First go through your wardrobe and through away (or better still give to charity) your old rags. Next go shopping, hire a personal shopper and restock your wardrobe, follow this by a new hair style and a pampering session. Finally with your new look and new clothes, stand in front of a mirror and notice how great you look. Take this opportunity to make an effort each day to dress to impress…yourself.
2. Change the Mind, Change the Body
Your mind and body work as one, sending signals to each other. A client walked in to my office the other day with her head hanging down, when asked what was wrong she said “I’m feeling down.” Body movements and facial expressions are designed to trigger emotions, as your mussels move they trigger electrons in your mind that make you feel surprised, sad, happy, scared or any of the other emotional responses that we have hardwired in our mind. This is one reason why people describe their mood through a metaphor, you may physically feel that you “have the world on my shoulders”
Depressed peoples body language will often include; slumped shoulders, lethargic movements and head lowered down – looking towards the floor.
What is interesting is if you physically stand up, hold you head up high, make eye contact with others, you will automatically feel more confident – this is instantaneous. Even more important if you force yourself to laugh for 10 minutes everyday you will start to feel happy without knowing why.
3. The Devil in Your Head
Many people who are depressed are so because they give themselves negative self talk on a daily basis “you’re a failure..” “Everyone will laugh at you..” this negative voice is limiting your expectations and causes sadness or worry.
To quickly eradicate this voice imagine that you can turn the voice into a shape and then give the shape a color. Slowly at first, move the shape down your body, from your head to your shoulder, from your shoulder to your arm, down your arm and onto your palm. Imagine the shape falling from your palm onto your leg, down your leg onto your foot and watch the shape fall off your foot, most people at this stage get the urge to kick the shape away. For this technique to work you have to imagine seeing the shape move away, down your body. Once the shape has been kicked away ask yourself how do I feel about the voice now? For most the power from the voice has gone. Repeat this technique until you can no longer retrieve the voice, even if you try.
4. What I Want I Never Get It
You hear these statements on a regular basis “I want to be a millionaire” “I want a big house” “I want to double my salary” “I want to be happy.” It is good to set yourself goals, but you have to remember that just wanting something doesn’t mean you will achieve it. Ask any successful person and they will tell you, you will have to work hard to achieve your goal.
When working towards a goal you need a plan with several milestones. Milestones are used so you can see that you are moving forward and getting closer to the big goal. If you want to be a millionaire, the first milestone should be to plan how you will make money, your second milestone may be research business ideas/money making strategies, your third milestone as an example maybe to research how successful millionaires became successful. As you achieve your small goals your big goals will fall into place naturally, it is also good to plan for the ‘bad’ days and have a strategy to deal with these not so good days.
The importance of achieving goals is enjoying the journey. Artist have always enjoyed the creativity of drawing, even when they were penniless and it looked as if they would never been seen by the public as successful. Their passion for art kept them going and it was their skill over hundreds of hours of practice they made them successful. It’s the same with any goal, you need to enjoy what you are doing and in time you will become a success. Even entrepreneurs who started out working on market stalls enjoyed selling, profits sheets and searching for profitable products, while at the same time dreaming on multi-million pound deals secured in an expensive boardroom.
5. Me, Me, Me and Me
Do you always focus on yourself? Many unhappy people go into situations looking at what they can get out of it? They rarely think about completing selfless acts, helping others for free and making a contribution to others, when there is nothing in it for them. But there missing out on the big secret, because the more you help others, contributing through volunteering, offering spare change to a stranger in the supermarket who has gone over their predicted bill and has no spare change or even the old cliché of helping some elderly stranger cross the road, the more you will feel good about yourself. Yes that’s right when you help people unselfishly you will feel good about yourself, boosting your self esteem and image, increasing positively the view you hold of yourself.
How to Feel Good About Yourself
There are many ways to help you feel more positive, to boost your self esteem and to give you the confidence to enjoy your life. These 5 simple techniques will help you get started, helping you to take control and to do something positive with your life.
Being able to take control gives you the power back. Rather then working on an unconscious pattern; feeling depressed, searching for evidence, feeling worse. You now have a choice. You can pick an activity to break that pattern and feel good about yourself. When completed on a regular basis you will wake up feeling good about yourself naturally, you will believe that you are a good person, and start to, unconsciously find evidence to back up this new belief.
Imagine you were this successful version of yourself who is confident and successful; where are you, what do you do, how do you act, who are your friends, where do you live, how much money do you have in the bank, are you married, a parent, a traveler, a business person? Imagine that this successful version of you, could look back and give the you now some advice, what advice would you give yourself?
Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events
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