NLP Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy

Mothers Smell Creates Phobia In Baby

HNGN.com this week discusses new research that suggests babies can literally smell their mother’s fear and become phobic themselves.

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Research has been initially completed on rats “The researchers observed mother rats who had learned to fear the smell of peppermint and found they “taught” this phobia to their offspring.”

This makes perfect sense as other recent research has found that human DNA maybe prone to become phobic of certain stimulus’s such as spiders. We also know how babies and young children learn from observational learning, copying the behaviour of their mothers or other adults in their life. These two factors as with the rats can be enough for babies to sense the fear of their parent to a certain stimulus and to take on this fear themselves.

Before they can even make their own experiences, they basically acquire their mothers’ experiences. Most importantly, these maternally-transmitted memories are long-lived, whereas other types of infant learning, if not repeated, rapidly perish,”

 

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Once a neuropathway has been formed in the baby’s brain to create a fear response to a stimulus, the reaction is repeated with each fear/response stimulus until the phobia is created. Phobias are created so we can act automatic to a stimulus, often without consciously knowing we have reacted until after we have responded. Being able to respond without thinking is a life saving mechanism that is still used in humans today.

To read the article in full click the source Babies Smell Moms Fear Phenomenon Can Give Children Irrational Phobias

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

Didsbury Life Coaching: Conquer Depression in 5 Steps

Depression becomes a negative cycle. You wake up believing you are depressed, throughout the day you unconsciously search for evidence that you are depressed. This evidence, once found reinforces your belief about being depressed, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Your feelings of depression become stronger while unconsciously you search for new evidence.

Depressed people find it hard to achieve their goals, they believe that there not worthy of anything; securing a new job, finding a partner, even being happy. Depressed people believe that they will fail and that others have all the luck.

Depression is in the mind, if you see the negative perspective in all situations, if you believe you will always fail, if you imagine that everyone dislikes you will feel emotionally low. Constant negative emotions (the chemicals released into your body when feeling depressed) affect your body; medical conditions, bad skin and hair loss.

But when you can change your perspective, when you look on the bright side of things, when you have self respect, self confidence and self belief, when you change your negative beliefs to positive beliefs, when you set and achieve your goals, when you enjoy living your life, you will start to feel more positive. These positive emotions allow positive chemicals to be released into your system so you feel good and often more healthy.

It can often be easier then you think to change your emotional state, changing how you physically feel. These 5 life coaching activities will help you get started.

 

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1. Dress to Impress….yourself

How you look affects how you feel. Imagine looking into a mirror and looking at yourself with scruffy hair, unflattering clothes and torn trainers. Your appearance can make a big difference towards your attitude. First go through your wardrobe and through away (or better still give to charity) your old rags. Next go shopping, hire a personal shopper and restock your wardrobe, follow this by a new hair style and a pampering session. Finally with your new look and new clothes, stand in front of a mirror and notice how great you look. Take this opportunity to make an effort each day to dress to impress…yourself.

2. Change the Mind, Change the Body

 

Your mind and body work as one, sending signals to each other. A client walked in to my office the other day with her head hanging down, when asked what was wrong she said “I’m feeling down.” Body movements and facial expressions are designed to trigger emotions, as your mussels move they trigger electrons in your mind that make you feel surprised, sad, happy, scared or any of the other emotional responses that we have hardwired in our mind. This is one reason why people describe their mood through a metaphor, you may physically feel that you “have the world on my shoulders”

Depressed peoples body language will often include; slumped shoulders, lethargic movements and head lowered down – looking towards the floor.

What is interesting is if you physically stand up, hold you head up high, make eye contact with others, you will automatically feel more confident – this is instantaneous. Even more important if you force yourself to laugh for 10 minutes everyday you will start to feel happy without knowing why.

 

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3. The Devil in Your Head

Many people who are depressed are so because they give themselves negative self talk on a daily basis “you’re a failure..” “Everyone will laugh at you..” this negative voice is limiting your expectations and causes sadness or worry.

To quickly eradicate this voice imagine that you can turn the voice into a shape and then give the shape a color. Slowly at first, move the shape down your body, from your head to your shoulder, from your shoulder to your arm, down your arm and onto your palm. Imagine the shape falling from your palm onto your leg, down your leg onto your foot and watch the shape fall off your foot, most people at this stage get the urge to kick the shape away. For this technique to work you have to imagine seeing the shape move away, down your body. Once the shape has been kicked away ask yourself how do I feel about the voice now? For most the power from the voice has gone. Repeat this technique until you can no longer retrieve the voice, even if you try.

4. What I Want I Never Get It

 

You hear these statements on a regular basis “I want to be a millionaire” “I want a big house” “I want to double my salary” “I want to be happy.” It is good to set yourself goals, but you have to remember that just wanting something doesn’t mean you will achieve it. Ask any successful person and they will tell you, you will have to work hard to achieve your goal.

When working towards a goal you need a plan with several milestones. Milestones are used so you can see that you are moving forward and getting closer to the big goal. If you want to be a millionaire, the first milestone should be to plan how you will make money, your second milestone may be research business ideas/money making strategies, your third milestone as an example maybe to research how successful millionaires became successful. As you achieve your small goals your big goals will fall into place naturally, it is also good to plan for the ‘bad’ days and have a strategy to deal with these not so good days.

The importance of achieving goals is enjoying the journey. Artist have always enjoyed the creativity of drawing, even when they were penniless and it looked as if they would never been seen by the public as successful. Their passion for art kept them going and it was their skill over hundreds of hours of practice they made them successful. It’s the same with any goal, you need to enjoy what you are doing and in time you will become a success. Even entrepreneurs who started out working on market stalls enjoyed selling, profits sheets and searching for profitable products, while at the same time dreaming on multi-million pound deals secured in an expensive boardroom.

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5. Me, Me, Me and Me

 

Do you always focus on yourself? Many unhappy people go into situations looking at what they can get out of it? They rarely think about completing selfless acts, helping others for free and making a contribution to others, when there is nothing in it for them. But there missing out on the big secret, because the more you help others, contributing through volunteering, offering spare change to a stranger in the supermarket who has gone over their predicted bill and has no spare change or even the old cliché of helping some elderly stranger cross the road, the more you will feel good about yourself. Yes that’s right when you help people unselfishly you will feel good about yourself, boosting your self esteem and image, increasing positively the view you hold of yourself.

How to Feel Good About Yourself

 

There are many ways to help you feel more positive, to boost your self esteem and to give you the confidence to enjoy your life. These 5 simple techniques will help you get started, helping you to take control and to do something positive with your life.

Being able to take control gives you the power back. Rather then working on an unconscious pattern; feeling depressed, searching for evidence, feeling worse. You now have a choice. You can pick an activity to break that pattern and feel good about yourself. When completed on a regular basis you will wake up feeling good about yourself naturally, you will believe that you are a good person, and start to, unconsciously find evidence to back up this new belief.

Final Thought

 

Imagine you were this successful version of yourself who is confident and successful; where are you, what do you do, how do you act, who are your friends, where do you live, how much money do you have in the bank, are you married, a parent, a traveler, a business person? Imagine that this successful version of you, could look back and give the you now some advice, what advice would you give yourself?

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

Manchester Hypnosis for Relaxation

I’m often surprised by the large amount of hypnotherapy and life coaching clients who don’t spend time each week to relax. They go about their busy lives, running errands, completing projects at work, bringing work task home with them, making tea for their children, worrying about tomorrows work meeting, planning the children’s weekend party, shopping for food and all the other hundred and one task that need completing each week.

I have found that most hypnotherapy clients with bad habits such as nail biting, unconscious itching and smoking follow this pattern of over working and over worrying. When we discuss their week it often becomes clear that they rarely relax.

I understand how everyone has a busy schedule but I also understand the importance of having time at least once a week to fully relax. Being able to relax allows you to change state, allows different chemicals to be released in your body by your mind. Relaxing allows your brain to re-charge so future task become easier rather then another hassle. Being able to relax can help your unconscious to sort out all the sensorial information it has took in throughout the day.

There are several techniques that will help you to relax including a powerful NLP visualisation technique that I use in hypnotherapy sessions. It is good to read through this exercise before using it on yourself.

 

 

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Give 5 Minutes

If you have kids, a wife/husband or even a dog, you know that when you arrive home they want to talk about their day, play and hug you or lick your face depending on who it is who greats you.

Your family and pets do this because they love you and want to share things with you, they don’t know if you have had a good or bad day or how stressed or relaxed you are feeling. In most cases this initial welcome will only last around 5 minutes, so prepare yourself – when you arrive home the first 5 minutes is all about your loved ones, put everything else aside and spend the whole 5 minutes focused on your family and pets.

After this initial 5 minutes of love and affection, your family will get on with their own task, the kids will play with their toys, the partner may read a book or watch TV and the dog will curl up in its basket. Now you have your time to relax or time to complete your task.

Others fall into the trap of arriving home angry knowing that they will be bothered when they have to much to do and not enough time. This bad attitude can cause arguments with loved ones or a concerned partner constantly asking if you are all right? Both of these examples waste time, putting more pressure on you increasing your anxiety. By just giving 5 minutes can be enough to show your love, allowing you to get on with your task.

 

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Hypnotic Breathing and Relaxing

Purchase some relaxation music – ocean waves, the sounds of the forest, etc (or search for free relaxation music on YouTube there is plenty available)

Second tell your loved ones that you will be down in 5 minutes and that you don’t want to be disturbed – this will soon become a daily routine that won’t be questioned by loved ones.

Find a quite room and turn off your phone, as you don’t want to be interrupted. Ideally sit in a reclining chair and take of your shoes. When ready, turn on your relaxing music.

Take several deep breaths (breath in through your nose and out through your mouth) and imagine all the muscles in your body relaxing; imagine the mussels in your forehead relaxing, the mussels in your cheeks and jaw, relaxing. Imagine all the mussels in your back and shoulders relaxing. All the mussels in your arms and legs relaxing. Relax all your mussels.

Imagine a soft gentle wave of relaxation washing over your body, notice the colour of this wave as it washes away the stress and helps you to relax a little more. Allow the relaxation wave to relax you inside and out from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, relaxing you more and more, deeper and deeper. The more you allow the wave to move around your body, the more you will relax until just the thought of the relaxation wave helps you relax more. Spend at least 5 minutes enjoying this feeling of relaxation.

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Beach Visualisation for Relaxation

 

Take several deep breaths to help you relax. As you relax, imagine you are on a beautiful and peaceful beach, notice the warm sand between your toes, the smell of the salty sea, the sound of the gentle surf drifting slowing in and out, in and out.

Rather then watch yourself on the beach, step into your body and see the beach from the eyes of the you on the beach. See what you can see, hear what you can hear. Smell the smells, taste the taste and notice the feelings of relaxation that all these senses create inside of you now.

Spend 5 minutes walking along the beech, feel the warm grains of sand between your toes, notice as they genteelly part to take the weight of your feet. Hear the crunch of the sand with each step you take and notice how the warmth of the sun helps you to feel more relaxed.

Find somewhere on the beach that looks like a nice place to rest and relax. Sit down and take the weight of your feet and notice the difference that feels from standing to sitting. As you sit there relaxing, notice how the waves genteelly move up and down the beach, wave after wave, in and out, in and out, imagine that with each wave it comes in and takes one of your worries away, in and out each wave, each time taking another worry away with it. Wave after wave, worry after worry.

The sound of these gentle waves helps you to relax more and more, so take a deep breath and breath in that sea air and notice how with each breath you feel much more calmer, much more relaxed. Feel the sea spray on your face, taste the sea air with every breath you take which makes you feel more relaxed.

This simple exercise when completed every night will help you feel more relaxed each time you use it, as you associate your beach to the feeling of relaxation. You will be amazed how completing a small relaxation visualisation exercise for 5 minutes can help you feel more calm and relaxed.

How Do You Relax?

If doesn’t matter how you relax as long as you make time to relax, relaxation, meditation and a light hypnotic trance as many benefits; more energy, better sleep, enhanced immunity, increased concentration, better problem-solving skills, less anger, crying, anxiety, frustration less headaches and pain.

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

How Micro Thoughts Form Bad Habits

John was running late. After making a quick breakfast, egg on toast, he quickly jumped into his car and headed down the road. after about 10 minutes a little voice in Johns head repeated “you have left the gas on….you have left the gas on.” Worry built up and soon John had spun the car around and was driving home, knowing that each minute was making him later and later. The panicked John reached home and ran straight into the kitchen only to find that he had turned the gas off before he had left for work.

 

 

We have all been in John’s shoes, but why does that internal talk happen? What is the purpose of this chartering self talk? This internal talk can be a pain, especially if you’re running late and it tells you that you have left the gas on. But the internal talk is there to keep you safe. It helps to warn you about potential danger – this doesn’t mean its always right, as in John’s case the gas was turned off.

 

 

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Forming Habits

 

 

You have a hundred billion neurons in your brain, these neurons help you to react to the world spontaneously by finding past references to the situation you currently find yourself in, so you know how to act. These quickly become habits and these habits help you to react quicker, allowing your conscious brain to focus on other stuff, rather than having to consciously think “how do I react to this situation?”

 

 

The anxiety built up in John, thinking that he left the gas on, maybe coupled, as an example with the knowledge that his girlfriend was sleeping upstairs unaware of the danger. This emotional reaction can be so powerful it becomes associated with the car and driving to work. The next morning John drives to work, he remembers the anxiety feeling, the voice returns “have you left the gas on?” John knowing its not worth the risk to carry on, turns his car around and a habit is born. After a couple of conscious “should I turn the car around” John finds that setting off in the morning to work, hearing the worried internal voice and returning home before setting off again, has become part of his morning routine, he even leaves for work a little earlier so the return home journey doesn’t make him late.

 

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Night Time Voices

 

Habit forming also happens at night. Many of us will put our mobile phone on charge in the bedroom. Modern smart phones are linked to our social media profile and our e-mails, and it this awareness that forms bad habits that can stop us sleeping.

 

Julia just returned from a successful first date, set up by her friend sara. The date had gone great, he was lovely; good looking, intelligent and a gentleman. They had exchanged phone numbers and on the train had messaged each other, asking questions they didn’t have time to ask on the date. Questions turned to flirting and flirting turned to complements and the potential for a second date to be organised. This messaging had continued as Julia arrived home, and soon after Julia had decided to go to bed. She put her phone on charge, drew the curtains and jumped into bed. She had a big meeting tomorrow and needed a good nights sleep. As she closed her eyes she kept thinking about the date and how great it was, maybe her inner voice told her “you should check your phone just incase?” Encouraged by her self talk, she got out of bed and no message. After 10 seconds of being back in bed the inner voice asked “maybe he just replied as you were getting into bed?” It took Julia 3 hours to get to sleep. The next night a tiered Julia went to bed early. The day had been amazing, the meeting had gone well and the guy she had dated had texted and had arranged a second date. They had continued to text each other through the evening. Julia had decided for an early night, as she got in her bed her inner voice suggested “you should check you messages just encase….”

 

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Mobile Phone Research

 

On a side note. A lot of research has been conducted on mobile phone being left in the bedroom and how they affect your sleep. It is now recommended that you charge your phone in a separate room. The reason behind this is that our brain is sensitive to light. The nerves in our eyes send signals to the brain, when light is detected we know when we should be waking up. The light from the mobile phone when on charge confuses our internal sleep/wake system making us believe dawn is approaching taking us out of a deep sleep.

 

Breaking Habits

 

Becoming aware of a habit forming is key to breaking the habit. Once aware you can set up a system to break the habit. John as an example could set up a checklist to ensure he has checked the gas. When the voice questions him on the journey his list will provide the evidence that the house and girlfriend are safe and he can continue on his journey. This continuation of his journey can be enough depending on how deep the habit has become, to break the habit.

 

 

Your brain is constantly learning and changing through plasticity, which is why we can form new positive habits - going to bed without checking the phone because you charged it downstairs. With a little repetition new habits that serve you well are created allowing you to focus on other elements of your life.

 

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Chris Delaney Specialise in:

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101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

NLP Hypnosis Manchester – Moving The Pictures

Two clients came to see me for relationship coaching, I asked them both to think of their last holiday. The wife smiled, while the husband frowned. The same question had invoked different emotional responses.

 

Our mind often creates images out of the words we hear. These images are referenced against our emotional memories before we are automatic told how to react through an instant chemical release creating our current state. The wife remembered positive holiday memories and felt good, the husband remembered a negative memoir and felt bad.

 

To take control of yourself you can learn to change the sub modalities of these images which change the motional response. The submodalities include colour, picture size, moving or stilled image, brightness, attached or detached images, dimness, distance of image, framed or unframed image, sounds, smells and internal self-talk, plus many others.

 

 

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Changing Your Emotional Response to a Memory

 

To highlight the power of changing the submodalities of an emotional memory I would first like to you to think of a past event that made you feel anxious or nervous. This could be a first date, an interview, public speaking or anything that created a thought of dread.

 

When you remember this scary event on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel, with 1 representing completely calm and 10 representing arghhhhh I’m really anxious!

 

Think about the image; where abouts is this image in your mind? Is it in front of your head, further of in the distance, to one side, is it like looking at a photo or a giant cinema screen?

 

Wherever it is, move the image in front of you so you can see the edges of the picture and you can see all the people in the image including yourself, so rather than seeing it from your own eyes you see it from the view of an observer.

 

If the image is a moving picture, a film, I want you to pause the film so it becomes a stilled image. If the image is in colour let the colour drain from the picture so you are left with a black and white stilled photograph.

 

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Ask yourself now, while looking at this image on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel, with 1 representing completely calm and 10 representing arghhhhh I’m really anxious!

 

Next move the image further and further away towards the horizon, and the further away the image goes the smaller the picture becomes, getting smaller and smaller the future away you move it – how do you feel now?

 

Move the picture so far away that it is hard to make out the detail, it becomes fuzzy, until it shrinks and shrinks going from the size of a postcard, to a stamp and finally to a dot on the horizon – how do you feel no on a scale of 1-10? Let that dot fade away one last time.

 

Have you noticed that your negative emotions that were once strong have vanished? You can do this NLP technique with any negative memory helping you to feel how you want to feel, respond how you want to respond, act how you want to act.

 

NLP and hypnotherapy help you to have more choices and if you complete this exercise often enough or in a trance state you will find that at some point soon, you won’t even be able to recall the negative image, even if you try.

 

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

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coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

Can Paul Ramsay Hypnotise You?

Paul Ramsay and Mani Scienide on a recent video explain who can be hypnotised. “People are fascinated with hypnosis, and one of the most popular questions is, “Who can be hypnotized?”  There’s a common misperception that only a select few people make good hypnotic subjects.  In this video we’ll explain the factors that affect hypnotizability, and give you some advice on how you can make yourself a better hypnotic subject.”

 

 

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Paul explains that hypnotisability is a form of suggestibility (primary suggestibility) to take in you in to a trance state. We are all suggestible; in day to day situations people unconsciously use body language, tone and gestures to make suggestions.

 

In marketing leading brands use suggestions to get you to buy their product, an example of this is Nike “Just Do It.” Suggestibility is about taking instructions without questioning them “can you pass me the salt?” This is a question, but embedded in this is the command “pass me the salt.”  Rarely to people answer the question, instead they automatically pass the salt without thinking.

 

In a therapeutic setting, the hypnotist will use light exercises to assess how well the client responds to suggestions. An example is to make a “Charles angle gun” with your hands; fingers interlocked together with two fingers pointing up. Stare between the two fingers and imagine magnets on the tips of your finger, and imagine that feeling of the magnets pulling towards each other” Most people find that their fingers grow closer together until they touch.

 

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Paul goes on to explain that Hydro hypnosis is a client and hypnotist working together to go into trance. Auto hypnosis is self hypnosis, where the client puts themselves into a trance. Auto hypnosis happens in our daily lives with many of us unaware how often we follow suggestions or fall into a light trance.

 

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This video is video 2 of a 15 part series that is being published live over the next few weeks on Google Hangouts. Paul and Mani have broken down hypnosis in to small sections so the listener can get a real insight into hypnotherapy. If you tune in to watch the videos live, Paul and Mani will also answer any viewers question live on air.

 

Well worth checking out. Video 3 is “The hypnotic experience” where Paul will explain what it is like to be hypnotised.

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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Other People Who Read This Article Also Read:

Chris Delaney Specialise in:

FREE Life Coaching Downloads

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coaching business in a box

101 Life Coaching Tools and Techniques

101 coaching techniques

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

Venues

DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information

 The Clients Perception, Change It.

Phobias, a lack of confidence, no self worth, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, overweight, abuse, negative self talk, limiting beliefs are some of the reasons people come for therapy.

It is often the case that clients have “put up” with their personal issue for a number of years. Their perception of their issue being one that they can “put up” with X, changes to one of “overbearing” – I need to get rid of X. It is this change in their perception that brings client to therapy.

Therapy is often seen as a last ditch effort from the client and many clients wont truly believe that therapy will help them. Many hypnotherapist will use arm elevation to change the clients perception from one of “this wont work on me” to “my arm is rising without me moving it, I must be hypnotised, if the therapist can do this to me, they will easily be able to cure me”

To produce fast therapy, we need the client to change their perceptions, just as the clients own perception of their personal issue changed from one of “annoyance” to a perception of “I can no longer deal with this.”

 

 

 

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Internal perceptions can be changed to, the overeater instead of seeing a tasty bag of chips and a delicious burger, will see greasy food, her weight increasing and a potential hart attack. The client’s frame of focus can change to; seeing the whole burger, part of the burger or the burger on a counter in a takeaway. The clients frame of focus changes their emotional response. And which part they focus on changes their motivation to, in this case the eating or not eating of the burger.

Two friends went with me last time I brought of beef burger, one focused on the grease, the fat, the cooking oil smell and the smell of burnt onions. She could see the paper napkin below the burger changing colour and texture as the grease dripping from the burger bun, soaked into the napkin. She ordered the salad. The other, a big meat eater, focused on the thick meaty burger, he could smell the tender meat, hear the sizzling in the pan, see the cheese dripping slowly of the burger, the bun and salad looked fresh, within seconds he had ordered two of them.

As the clients perception change their map of their world expands and changes to. The therapist has to take on their clients map to support them, by understanding how the client sees the world, and to communicate this back to them using “clean language” and by presenting choice.

 

 

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Second guessing the client’s thoughts can break rapport, instead the therapist needs to step into the client and see the world from their eyes, using solution focus questions to allow the client to find their own solutions and options.

Therapist can facilitate change through metaphors, reframing and offering comparisons, allowing the client to try on a new perspective. To increase motivation the therapist may ask clients to focus on the future, a future version of them when they haven’t changed, allowing the clients perception of their future self to motivate them. And then compare that, to them when they have changed, which creates or at least starts a belief that they can change, because they just visualised it.

Many clients focus on the negatives of the situation, or a past situations. By looking at the positive perception of this situation, can create an extended map, a new perception to work from. The weight loss client may complain “I’ve always eat, I’ve eaten everything that was put in front of me, I can’t stop” a therapist friend replied with “good, because I don’t want you to stop eating, I want you think about everything that was put in front of you that you ate and pick only the dishes you liked” The therapist is telling the client that she liked creates the presumption that she disliked certain foods, this is a different map to “I eat everything that is put in front of me”

 

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Clients will often generalise their life “no-one likes me” which creates a limiting map, when challenged the clients map can change “….well, obviously my mum likes me, and my friends, but my friends have all known me from being young.” Therapist “so, what you’re saying is people who get to know you like you?”

Creating an extended map, new choices and a new perception to look at old situations, can rapidly increase change in the client allowing them to move forward quicker then expected.

 

Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events

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