5 Secret Ways To Double Your Confidence

5 Secret Ways To Double Your Confidence

We all get a little anxious and nervous before a big event, from a blind date to speaking in front of a large audience, from a job interview to approaching a stranger to ask them on a date


As an observer of confident people, you will often wonder what secrets these confident people use to increase their confidence.


I have worked with actors, orators and trainers, all who say that before their big event they feel a little nervous – as this is a natural response. Nervousness is an energy and you can change this energy into confident energy


These 5 secrets to increase your confidence are the tools and techniques confident people use to boost their confident energy prior to a big event



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Double Your Confidence Secret 1 – The Tone of Confidence


Confident people come across as charismatic, able to use their tonality to engage their audience.


Before any big event we use our own self-talk to motivate ourselves. The difference between a confident person and someone who lets their nerves take control is the tonality of the voice they use.


Imagine saying the motivational affirmation “I will go out there and I will be great”


Now say this in a low, quite, squeaky voice……This tone will only increase your nervousness


Instead, do what confident people do, say it in a strong, loud and powerful tone. The tone you choose to say the self talk in will change your state increasing either your confidence or nervousness



Double Your Confidence Secret 2 – Posture Changes State


When feeling nervous, scared and worried your physical state changes.


Nervous people will often hold themselves, rub their arms, have slumped shoulders and lower their head – this is a protective posture


Your mind and body are connected – the physiology of your body changes your emotional state


If you hold yourself up, head held high, legs firmly planted on the floor, chest out, you will feel confident. Change your state by stretching, lifting your head and standing in a confident pose


When you see a confident speaker on stage, look at their posture, body language and how they hold their head – their body shows their confidence


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Double Your Confidence Secret 3 – Spin Your Confidence


When in a negative state you can feel the negative emotion moving and spinning throughout your body, as you focus on this state the intensity of the emotion increases


This technique is used by professionals to change their state and to increase confidence


  1. Notice  the spinning feeling of your anxiety in your body as you think about your big event
  2. Imagine that you can see this spinning feeling and notice the speed and colour of your feeling
  3. Push the feeling outside your body, so you can imagine seeing it spinning in front of you
  4. Flip the spinning feeling back on itself so it spins in the opposite direction
  5. Spin the feeling in this new direction faster and faster and notice how the colour of your spinning feeling changes
  6. Push the new spinning feeling back inside yourself
  7. spin it faster and faster



Double Your Confidence Secret 4 – Preparing for Confidence


Confidence comes from your inexperience


If I asked you to speak publicly about a subject you didn’t know you would be less confident then speaking about yourself (a subject you know intimately)


This theory of confidence is number one reason why people have extreme nervousness, their inexperience, lack of knowledge  and lack of preparation doubles and triples their anxiety.


Practice, prepare and rehearse. The difference between a confident public speaker and a anxious orator is the lack or preparation. If I asked you to talk about yourself right now, in a front of a crowd your anxiety will increase. If you prepared your speech and rehearsed your topic for several days, your anxiety will decrease.


This technique can be transferred into everything and anything you become nervous at. Lets take asking out a stranger on a date.


If you simply approach someone in a nervous state, not really knowing what you will say, your anxiety will increase. Compare this to someone who prepares how they will approach the person, who practices their opening line and someone who rehearses the questions they will ask – practice really does make perfect


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Double Your Confidence Secret 5 – Jump Into Confidence


Confident people do get nervous


This nervousness is not lasting. Rather then focusing on your nervous and what could go wrong, confident people will jump into their task


Their focus is on the achievement of their big event. When you change your focus from fear to your outcome your whole state changes. This is the secret many people don’t know – a confident state is created from your focus of the big event


If you think about an anxious activity you will feel anxious, if you change your focus to concentrate on the positives, you will create a positive state



Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events


Chris Delaney is also a published author “The 73 Rules of Influencing the Interview – using Psychology, NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Techniques”

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Chris Delaney NLP Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Career Advisor is available for booking for One to One Private Sessions, Group Training Sessions and Public Speaking Events


DIDSBURY: 4 Birley Park, Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2TL

MANCHESTER: The Triangle, 37 Exchange Square, Manchester M4 3TR

E-MAIL: chrisdelaney7@gmail.com for more information


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